Cookie [point] Thought

Hello Old Friend

2011-01-25T03:39:00.001-08:00

Don't mind the mess.

Off with the old and in with the.....

2010-12-31T19:05:00.000-08:00

So here's to the end of the year and the end of a decade! Consider this my last post until next year. This is also my last sober post of the year. Despite my various rough and tumbles this ear, I'm excited to end this year, and to start fresh next year. Do I have resolutions? Any hope of things to be done differently? Well...in the next decade I will accomplish the following:

1)Transfering to a good university
2)Getting my degree
3)Kicking off my career
4)Cut-back/Cut out junk food completely
5)Party in another country
6)Have a relationship with people and not my Droid
7)Make time for the good times more
8)Learn to balance things better
9)KICK ASS

I'm leaving it at 9 because that is my favorite number.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!!!

Be safe and have fun!

Clean

2010-12-22T02:28:00.001-08:00

If anyone has gone outside, looked out their window, or just opened their ears, they would know that it has been pouring for several days in Southern California, several days straight. Although I'm impressed at how Californians have been able to handle a little rain, normally a light drizzle in Orange County would amount to pile-up on the orange crush that would last for hours. We seem to be faring well, for the most part, people have been forgoing the shorts and sandal wear for actual shoes and pants, a nice change I would say. I for one love the rain and I am enjoying it thoroughly. Has anyone ever noticed that first patch of blue you get right after a rainstorm? I love that blue, and the air is still moist and fresh, and everything seems to have been swept away in the downpour, the dirt, oil, and grime. Gone. What you have left is a little patch of sky that may have looked untouched by the Industrial Revolution long ago, those patches of blue make the rainfall even more enjoyable. I'm thinking that nature has simply intended to clear and clean out all that grime from this whole decade so that when the new year starts, everything is fresh again.

Finishing Strong [point] 2

2010-12-14T14:47:00.000-08:00

My eye(s) haven't stopped twitching for weeks, I've been getting nauseated, I'm tired, but that's been a given since the beginning of this semester. My body is starting to function both regularly and irregularly, the sudden change, despite some of it being good, makes me think I'm sick, I'm starting to think I'm some sort of hypochondriac.

So maybe I'll just stop my bitching...just one more week...

Forgoing the Nap

2010-12-13T11:30:00.000-08:00

If Lenin was your everyday American in the modern age, I get the feeling that he'd only amount to an overzealous yuppie on some anonymous blog, I mean really, they'll let anyone on the internet these days. Actually, they do, not that there has ever been some sort of criteria. Don't mind me though, I'm just blathering to get some sort of writing flow.

I just realized how alike two very different situations can be. I'm sure I mentioned some "controversy" over my article on an ousted student body vice-president and how the student body president wouldn't give a quote for the life of me, in fact, he simply sensationalizes everything. I'm sure it has to do with him being a theater arts major. Yet, if he did give me anything, the conversation would sound like this:
"Well he was was voted off Council due to his inability to fulfill his duties"
"Great, can I use that as a quote?"
"No"
"...Why not?"
"Because the Brown Act says so"
"Then can I say that you decline to state?"
"No"
"So I can't use anything?" Mind you, my eyebrows are askew with skepticism by now.
"No, because the Brown Act says so"
"So your not going to give me a quote, or anything, because the Brown Act says so?"
"The Brown Act says you can't solicit a Council member for a quote"
"But you don't have minutes"
"Right"
"So you're declining to state, but not declining?"
"Yeah, but don't put that in there"
"Uh huh...ok thanks..."

Later on that night, a customer comes into my gamestore and requests that he wants a game for his granddaughter, he's about 6 feet something, white, upper middle class. From guessing by all the gaudy gold rings on his finger, I'm thinking he didn't make it that far in the NFL.

"I want that _____ game, and I want it new, it's for my granddaughter," my coworker stands at a whopping 4'11, and when he hands the guy his new game, the man's face squints in middle class ridicule.
"I said I wanted a new game"
"It is new, it's just unwrapped because it's the last copy, and we need at least one copy on the floor to display"
"It's unwrapped, I said I wanted a new one"
"Yeah, it is a new one, like I said, we gut one copy so that people don't steal it and we have the game to display"
"But it's not wrapped"
"Yeeeah...it's a store policy, but it's new"
"Well Best Buy has their games wrapped"

The conversation continues on the same way for a few more minutes with neither side gaining traction. Finally the man walks out of the store, leaving a wake of bewildered customers, my coworker then turns to me, "I made sense right? Was I speaking another language or something?" With that, I respond to him that he made perfect sense and the guy was just another idiot.
I started running over bits and pieces of my previous conversations earlier, and I realized that these two very different people must have had the same genes in them. The circular reasoning, despite the fact that it'd be easier to just go with the flow, why does everything new have to be in a wrapper? Why bother giving someone information they can't use? Where was the logic in having that much control in anything? Would your 5 year-old granddaughter really care if something was wrapped, especially since you'd wrap it in colorful paper later on? Are you so worried about the quality of anything or the outcome that you simply can't trust it as is? After all, when you order food at a restaurant, I'm pretty sure that doesn't come wrapped up, so who's to say the waiter didn't spit in it?

The point is, where is the logic in the illogical?

An hour or so later, that same man came into the store again, Best Buy didn't have the game.
"The guy at Best Buy says that you guys have to do that anyway," my coworker, by now, could really care less about what the guy at Best Buy says, and he goes off to get the game. The man notices something on our counter, it was a packet in which it was the same exact game he has been looking for, only in a used envelope. He glances at it for a few seconds.
"Is that the same game I was looking for?" I was left to contend with him by now.
"Yeah, it's preowned though, but it's in good condition"
"Huh, it looks used," he was clearly offended by this poor preowned game. By then, my coworker was about done ringing him up, and as he leaves, I picked up the used version of the game he was looking for. It was brand new.

Journalism [point] one

2010-12-07T17:46:00.000-08:00

After an incredibly intense few days, I am safe to say that it's all out of my hands at this rate, and come tomorrow, I can expect repercussions. Would I have done things a little differently now that I think about it? Yes, however, I know that I've done nothing wrong, but I'll take it as a lesson learned in public relations and communications between politics in the media, and the relationship between the two.
I can't help but feel as if this is just a test run for the future, but it's better to get my feet wet now than plunge into deep waters later. Come next semester, I intend to hit the ground running with a fresh start.

It's December.

2010-12-04T02:25:00.001-08:00

I haven't signed up for any classes yet. I've sent all of my applications, I've done article after article, test after test, and meeting after meeting. Now it's finally December and I'm not quite sure about my next semester. I'll have even more obligations and undoubtedly I'll be busy. Per usual.

I really should be asleep but I'm fired up because so many around me is undergoing so much in their lives, and there are even more people out there like that. Yet some people have the audacity to see only themselves, and when something goes wrong, no matter how minute, it is as if the world suddenly collapsed on them. It makes me even sadder than it does anger me when I know people who are like that, and they lack any and all sensitivity to others hardships. It really bothers me.

Don't Tell Me...

2010-11-23T10:47:00.000-08:00

Don't tell what not to do or what not to write, because the moment anyone says that, you better believe that I will dig that s#!% up, and dish it out on a cold, silver platter. But don't fret, it will be all in good taste, because afterall, I'm a professional.

Have a nice day!

Switching it Up

2010-11-21T02:04:00.001-08:00

Hmm...partied lighter than I normally do tonight, had a heart to heart with a good friend tonight, met some people, managed to hunt down In 'n Out, all in all it was good fun. I'm sleepy now... good night moon...

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Rolling in The Deep

2010-11-18T02:39:00.000-08:00

My mornings are rather uneventful, just me running around, getting things done and down to the wire. However, I was suddenly awakened by a brand new sound to a familiar voice, ah yes, Adele. She's certainly no longer 19, and in anticipation of her new album, 21, I'm posting the first single she's released. There is something about Adele that I can truly relate to, and her lyrics and music seemed to align to my 19th year, and I'm excited to turn 21 around the same time as 21 comes out.

"Rolling in the Deep"
Adele

Rolling in the Deep is all fire, revenge, and pure emotion that is backed by a stomp-and-clap beat, gospel singers, and a rise and fall of orchestration that opens to a lonely guitar, but climaxes to a full sound of pianos, guitars, drums, and clapping. Adele has certainly matured, and she's not letting anyone get away with taking her "heart and soul/and playing it to the beat." Yet again, she never ceases to impress me with her voice, but from this single, you can hear her take songwriting to the next level as she cleverly doles out revenge. Adele takes the sound of her forlorn 19-year old self and she's transformed into a full bodied, hot-blooded woman of 21.

Love of My Life...

2010-11-16T23:34:00.001-08:00

Where on earth have I been all this time? Smartphones are a beautiful thing, and I love my Droid. Yes, I caved in, I did it, I got a Droid 2, well actually if I truly wanted to be a complete sell-out, I would have gotten an iPhone instead. I am actually blogging from my phone right now, and the lovely thing is that my google calendar syncs up to my phone just like e-mail. So I have my agenda, calendar, music, social media, documents, and easy access to documents that makes my life easier, as well as other widgets, like my news and weather. And of course, my quick on the go blogger too.

I can even tab on this keyboard as well, so for all you english savvy friends out there, this phone can fit all your needs. As well as your social networking, e-mail, calendar, agenda, music...life in general actually.

By the way, guest blogging can be fun! On another unrelated topic, did anyone catch that mash-up of Singing in The Rain and Umbrella on Glee? Thoughts guys?

Oh and before I forget, anybody looking forward to the next Harry Potter? Because I am!

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Be Nice

2010-11-12T17:05:00.000-08:00

It always feels as if when one person feels down, almost everyone else around you is feeling the same way. It isn't helpful when the people around you seem to be looking around as if the world has tilted on it's axis. Then again, the earth does that on a routinely basis, but naturally, that doesn't mean I should have to get a nasty conversation over the phone, loud enough for those around me to hear. Of course, as I look around embarrassingly, I feel the need to pass an awkward smile at the occasional looker, who seem to be as equally embarrassed for me.
All I ask is that people be a little nice, just a little, every once in a while. Be nice to your everyday, stressed out college student, after all, we get to pick up the tab for the baby boomers. You'll be needing us, and yes, you should thank us in the future when we clean up this mess. And thank the veterans. With that in mind, please keep in mind during this weekend that none of us would be typing shit like this up if it wasn't for our veterans. So be even nicer, no, be grateful to them. Hoo-rah.

Bird shit is also hard to clean up by the way. I really liked that jacket too, and my head is still recovering from that fall, my neck and shoulders are sore. Thanks for asking.

The Pay-Off

2010-11-11T03:06:00.000-08:00

I swear....There better be some pay-off for all of this in the end. People drive me insane...

1001 Things in a 1001[minus]999 Days and Nights To Do

2010-11-04T01:56:00.000-07:00

I've been running on too little sleep...

LIST
-Call people regarding soup kitchen Friday
-Find out more for article on school event
-Soup Kitchen, Friday @ 8am-11
-Meeting,Friday @ 12-1pm
-CD Shopping for Broadcasting 1pm-...
-Casino Night Friday, 5-7pm
-Work at 10am Sat morning
-Must watch movie after work
-After movie, write article and turn in Sat night
-Write another article for school event and turn in by Sun

Other Important Items
-Call Admissions office of ALL CSUs I've applied to so I can fix my huge screw-up
-Applications for UCs due by end of month
-UC application essays
-Visit a clinic before end of month

Academics:
-Read Moby Dick
-Study for History
-STUDY STUDY French
-French extra credit
-DON'T FAIL

"High Horses" Swell Season
Song starts at 2:50

I'm starting to feel so busy that I am outright miserable. What happened to me loving all this stuff? I generally love feeling busy all the time, maybe I'm just getting a little worn out.

The End of a Conversation

2010-11-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

Has anyone noticed that you really don't know when a conversation is supposed to keep going or it's supposed to end when talking on the interweb sometimes? It can feel like a big elephant sometimes, and when you want to keep talking, you want to change the subject, but it only looks like a desperate attempt to avoid all awkwardness. Am I thinking too much again?

In all social awkwardness, what can a girl do?

"My Boys Builds Coffins" Florence + and The Machine

I love the emotional depth of her voice and how her lyrical substance is unique. This songs makes me think of Camus and Kafka for some reason.

All bets are off...

2010-10-28T01:30:00.000-07:00

Call all bets off cause the Santa Ana's are blowing through, and if anyone knows, anything goes! I should know, today has been interesting, then work was absolutely ridiculous. And of course, the fact that I didn't get much sleep thanks to an essay in which I had a deadline to beat didn't help much either. The systems were down at my work for an hour during our busiest period. It was absurd, it's almost as if all that electricity in the air is bound to spark something, spark what? I'm not sure, but it's got my hair frazzled enough and I still can't touch metal.

I also had an interesting conversation with a coworker too, which made me think, I must be one of the most emotionally defunct person out there. I know that right now, I have no, and I mean NO interest in dating or guys or anything right now. It's boiled down to the fact that I have little to no time for it, and quite frankly, my last few escapades have left me a little bruised. As I've always said, I'm fine being on my own, and I'd probably be happier too, after all, I have my friends,family, music, books, and good food. What else do I need?

It's odd because I feel that so many people can't, or are almost phobic with being by themselves for too long, maybe it's the idea that they're afraid of dying alone or something, so they need to be constantly surrounded by people, and feel the need to be accepted. Anyway, I'm just ranting at this rate.

"Nighttime" The xx

The surveillance footage creates a different, and a dark depth to the overall sound, which I think is appropriate for Halloween :)

Yay! My sister is home for the weekend and I get to get my party on! :)

Insomia and a Lack of Better Ideas

2010-10-24T01:04:00.000-07:00

It's so nice to open your front door to find a friend standing there, so Cami came over and we caught up a bit, watched some Big Bang Theory with her, I'm pretty addicted to it now I have to admit.

So I've spent my day staring at a textbook, reading parts of it rather nonchalantly, of course, the paper is due Wednesday. I'll get it done, I just have to get it done. I also need to do some serious cleaning. I feel so scattered, more so than normal actually. What to make of all this...

"She's Got You High" Mumm-Ra

"Misread" Kings of Convenience

"How come no one told me all throughout history the loneliest people were the ones who always who spoke the truth?"

Tell me about it.

A Series of Phases

2010-10-20T00:49:00.000-07:00

I'm going through one of my phases again, normally this happens when I'm getting over someone, or I've had a long period me enjoying the single life. After a while, I find that I get emotionally dry, so I start developing random crushes on guys. Considering my current situation, I am neither getting over someone or too much of me time, so maybe I'm in a position of somewhere between the two.
I've suddenly developed crushes on two different guys at the same time, which is fun to be honest, even if I know that they're unattainable in a sense of either them being unavailable or reasons that would breach my moral codes. So I'm simply enjoying myself for now. I enjoy those strange attachments we develop for people whom, it would be otherwise nonsensical on any other plane.

Reboot[point]1

2010-10-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

After a look at my last few posts, which made me sound absurdly melodramatic, I took a few days off after feeling a "little" overwhelmed, now I feel good and ready to go! It's amazing what rest can do!

I am starting this week and hitting the ground running. Wish me luck!

Florence and the Machines "Dog Days Are Over"

Tired...

2010-09-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

For the first time in my life, I am tired of hearing about people's problems and I suddenly lack the patience for people's incompetence. I know that I'm no better in so many regards, however, I have learned to plow on, to better myself, to do more. I can't stand the idea of wallowing in one's pool of self pity and cynicism.

Quite frankly, I am fed up. Living on the outskirts of drama has made me content in some ways, but being an observer all the time is sometimes no better. Times can get tough, so learn to roll with the punches and throw a few too. I may not be well liked in some circles, but at least I know I have a working moral compass.

Standing Alone

2010-09-22T19:54:00.000-07:00

It's an odd feeling when you're playing a double agent on campus. The politics, the drama, the unity, and the disunity that can be found in many ways. When playing on a field that's uneven with only a sense of moral fiber to guide one, you can feel as if you are the only person on a team against ten. But without any moral fiber, who would stand with you in the end?

What's anything got to do with it?

2010-09-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

As was noted in previous 2 to 3 word posts, I've been busy to say the least, I'm actually writing for the sake of writing, but I think yesterday's post was not as exciting as it sounded as it was draining. People will simply be people and as much as I believe you don't need to be everyone's friend, it doesn't mean that I don't want to be anyone's friend.

Regardless of how things have fallen into place, or out or place, I still gotta do what I gotta do. Anywho, guys can be so shady, it's ridiculous! Oh well, at least I know what I'm going to do this weekend. I got my core group together, people are free to join in, and I don't intend to be home until I've had some breakfast in me.

@$!@!$%!!!

2010-09-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

OOOOO...what an asshole!!!

Busy...

2010-09-07T15:58:00.000-07:00

Busy busy busy....

Unexpected...

2010-09-02T00:54:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I put myself on a no-boys till further notice rule. Oh well, I guess I'll see how this one turns out. Although I'm getting good feelings about this one.

Recent Additions, Addictions, and Epiphanies

2010-08-20T02:53:00.000-07:00

All in all, I've had a relatively productive summer, got a couch and a new dresser and I've somehow adopted a compulsive cleaning habit at obscure hours at night. I've been clearing out my room for the past few nights, just cleaned and disinfected my bathrooms and I intend to take on the kitchen tomorrow night if it's meant to be.

Work is work, and I've had a growing dislike for it as of late. It's not the work or my coworkers, it's for the people who come in and out all the time. If anyone has worked in retail, then I'm sure many can understand.

I'm feeling a little out of it and in a bit of a funk, maybe it's the fact that there is a deep sense of irony that I find in most things these days and that a lot of it's not meant to make sense. I'm a contradictory creature myself, so I can't complain about it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that in a few months from now I'll be absolutely bombarded with life and college applications and essays. I'll be dealing with hordes or customers that make me want to curl up somewhere and etc. I'm counting the hours as I'm trying to set my life up, slowly, piece by godawful piece.

It's ironic how only a few days ago I found myself upset at myself, maybe for the lack of social connections, or more for me letting myself get to the point of social disconnection, which provoked my compulsive cleaning, and then all of a sudden, I find myself being social again, very social in fact. Only to realize just moments before how comfortable I was with being alone. How despite everything, I'd rather be alone and how this comfort was once something I found to be very alienating. I can sit and eat on my own with a comfort of a book, I love to roam streets on my own, it's nice to have friends, and I love them all, but there's a feeling you get that I can only explain as a sort of contentment when you walk around somewhere new and you can feel the life of the streets. Once again, irony. It's funny how I was setting up my room to accommodate myself in a way where I had intended to put in a lounge chair for myself to enjoy. A decision made to accommodate my epiphany that no longer should I take remorse in my ability to be alone. But in almost a matter of moments, it turned into a couch that became used almost instantly by new friends, with old friends helping to assemble a new dresser for my room.
Maybe all it took was for me to be missed a little.

Ah music...another obsession as of late: Mumford and Sons

"The Cave"

"Little Lion Man"

All Things Existential

2010-07-22T02:58:00.000-07:00

To know that one is living, one must have an existence, but essence is conditional.

"I think, therefore I am" is perhaps the best way to perceive existentialism, however, in the fast paced world in which we all live in, by what cost of existing do we give up on essence? How much more original thought is there left? There are 8 billion people on Earth, hundreds of thousands ideas are published through means of media that are emerging, newly, everyday. Are we simply a byproduct of data that is broken down into 140 characters or less? Or are we simply evolving into something more?
The English language is comprised of words that are broken down into 26 letters, with endless possibilities, yet we only use a small fraction of them. Some have simply decided to create new words(*cough* Palin *cough*). If the Tower of Babylon became undone through the power of words, then imagine the evolution of language today. The breaking down of language by means of tweets and emoticons. What's to say to the future of language?
What about individuality? What is there left to make a person individual when almost all things that are considered individual today are made in a factory in a third world nation? A mass produced identity through means of media and production? The things we have once abhorred have become the latest trend through the trickle effect of a failed Reaganomic era.

What is left to the individual to make of his or her own essence when most have simply absorbed the current market values into an identity? All the while, individualism is the item that is being bought and sold the most, ironically, it is also being bought by everyone else.

"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile."

What is existentialism in a post post-modern world but an offspring of advertising labels, tweets, and the towers that were usuriously bought as individualism? How can we separate the essence from the existence? Here's a question, is there anything that makes us truly individual anymore?

Quick! Say something weird!

2010-07-14T18:14:00.000-07:00

So there's a person sitting in front of me feigning that deep in thought look, except it reminds me of a bewildered Keanu Reeves look. Please stop staring at me, it's kind of unsettling. Yeah, the guy sitting by me at the coffee shop. Oh geez, he has pamphlets in his hands, greeeat....

Refocusing

2010-07-14T03:11:00.000-07:00

I'm sharpening and shifting my focus into a mode of strictly school. With some time to go out and play, even though I don't know what to do with these excess emotions, I need to clear my head and narrow my focus into something more concrete. I'm just not cut out for romance I guess...*sigh* there goes another one...

Muted Noise

2010-07-10T15:24:00.000-07:00

I made it onto the Honor Roll for last semesters grades, which is pretty impressive for me, now to push myself a little harder and I can make it. I think it's safe to say that I'm trying to set in motion a plan to spend three months volunteering abroad. These are the places I want to spend a month in; India, Turkey, Morocco, Cambodia, Brazil, Argentina. However, I think it's safe to say that I've narrowed it down to India, Turkey, and Cambodia, with some time to skip over to Vietnam to see Deb, since she'll be in Vietnam for a year and no doubt she'd miss the fam/boyfriend/food like crazy. The very idea of being able to explore Istanbul, or haggle my way through India and see the ruins, or munch on delicious food from places I haven't been to. No doubt I'll be going from deserts to monsoon seasons, and along the way I'll teach English and maybe meet fellow travelers. I get ecstatic at the idea of it, and not just that, but at the tangibility of it all. Just thinking about the last post makes me feel as if a man can be an island. Perhaps I'm more comfortable with being by myself then when I'm with other people, I can be social and I love meeting people and making friends, but perhaps in actuality, I find comfort in solitude. With only music and my books, I'm okay with that, I can wander the streets in my own silence and I sometimes find that more fun then when I'm with someone else.

I mean just look at how talkative I get, I think the more comfortable I am with people, the more quiet I am. Sometimes I feel the need to talk with a sort of frenetic energy when there's a silence when I'm with people. Not to say I turn into a mute when I'm with people I'm comfortable with. Conversations are made up of content versus filler is all. Anyway, I think it's time I get back to doing actual work and being more productive.

Cost of Distance at a Velocity of Gravity Minus Planet

2010-07-06T01:56:00.000-07:00

I had a great time at Anime Expo this year, I intended to spend as little money as possible and I figured I'd go only to spend the night, which was all I could afford to do anyway. I had fun having a drunken time and seeing friends again, which was great. However, by the time I was running to catch trains to head home, I was missing everything already. I hadn't seen everyone in so long, which only made me realize how truly distant I still am. All of those time I spend in doors, studying or cleaning, they're time I'm giving up getting to know my friends better or doing things. I suddenly feel as if I've been missing out on so much. Seeing everyone at Anime Expo and then going back home and feeling as if I'm collided by strangers. I guess I'm still socially awkward. Talk about lacking social interaction these days. I need to make a stronger effort to connect. I keep falling off the face of the planet.

*insert melodrama*

I think I owe someone money still.

On another note, fireworks on the fourth of July always make me happy, especially when the vatos are blasting them this way and that till the wee hours in the neighborhood and the kids are playing with sparklers. Good times.

Music is Sex

2010-06-29T03:09:00.000-07:00

I just finished downloading anywhere between 150 and 200 songs onto my iPod. I needed to diversify my music a little, threw in some more indie, rock, hip-hop, and music of undefinable substance. Just the way I like my men. The Black Keys, N.E.R.D., Kele, Tokyo Police Club, Kanye, and a few others. Yep, got my summer playlist and I'm ready to rock baby. See ya'll at the party!

N.E.R.D.
Spaz

Audiophilic Headgear

2010-06-27T13:54:00.000-07:00

My love affair with music is often that of an idol and a fan. Distant, yet forever steadfast in adoration. With that, my abuse on my headgear does not warrant it so much. The given life expectancy of my headphones is anywhere to a month to 6 months, if they are well constructed and lucky enough. However, my last pair outlasted 6 months and had amazing sound quality, I felt as if I was rediscovering music. Since then, I have become a true believer in investing in sound. Now my gorgeous headphones have died, which was horribly depressing, and given the havoc in my household, I've decided to extend my budget on ear buds and I'm looking to include noise canceling as well. (After all, there are two things I'm willing to stretch my budget on, fashion and ear buds, and occasionally concerts, oh and books of course!).
Luckily for me, I have a good deal of credit for Amazon, so after a great deal of research, I have settled on these bad boys:

Woodees IESW101B

The reviewer knew what he was talking about, so I feel as if I can trust this guy. I'm looking for extremely durable ear buds that can give me a clear sound on all ranges, and enough bass but it won't muddy the sound, because that would be a crying shame. Overall, there came out to be about 35 dollars. So these guys better last be a few years.

Also, a shout out to La Blogotheque! They give the world amazing videos of up and coming bands all around the world in impromptu settings. They capture the spirit of the music and provide beautiful, intimate music all at once. I put up a video of Beirut once that they filmed. Here are some more recent ones that I've fallen in love with! Don't worry, I'll be adding a new video to each post for every song I love.

Delafé y Las Flores Azules - Espiritu Santo
In their beautiful home country of Barcelona:

Priorities

2010-06-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

Given the amount of work I get in a night from my math class and my current time constraints, it's a little frustrating knowing that it isn't feasible for me to find another job. Although, having to shave 90% of my next paycheck to buy myself new glasses/contacts and an eye exam doesn't help, but I don't think I can stand another day in class, having to squint to see numbers that I can barely see. It's a comfort to know that my eyesight seems to have significantly become worse, and here I thought it was just me. However, I'm very invested in scoring an A in my class, no matter how nerve wracking it can get. My headphones are broken right now and they are driving me INSANE right now. Anyway, relatives have been flowing in and out of my home for the past week or two since I've gotten back from Seattle. It's been a madhouse! I've been stowing myself away in the laundry room to read and make phone calls lately since that's the only room in the house where it's actually unoccupied.

Anyway, I gotta head to work now. Bye!

The Advent of Social Media Networking [point] 1

2010-06-18T13:27:00.000-07:00

The future of blogging and the effect of social media in the future has always been a fascinating aspect for me. It has created and killed industries, those who embrace these technologies gain higher return rates and a greater survivability rate as well. Those who haven't, or have done so in an ill mannered way have lost elections, consumers, etc. This goes into the newspaper industry and magazines especially.
These days, whenever someone asks me what my major is, I normally respond with journalism, sometimes they think that's a good idea, other times I can see them mentally roll their eyes. Afterall, the likelihood of one running about being a Gonzo journalist in today's world of fast texting tweets and instant news updates makes everyone a Gonzo journalist. Of course, this is also giving way to the "fall of the newspaper", as some would dramatically put it. However, the likelihood of the survivability of the newspaper industry being, it simply has not evolved yet. Evolve or die. Journalism on the other hand will still be a relevant profession, how so? With media in a constant flux, there will still be a need to transcribe events into new means. Today, journalists are no longer simply recorders of current events, but they are no expected to be social media moguls, and spinners of an ever growing network, constantly meshing together. Not only should you be able to write, but shoot film, edit, post photos, a constant array of skills are now needed to become a journalist.

So what does the future hold for journalism and can the newspaper industry make a comeback? Journalism is here to stay, however, as for the newspaper industry, only time will tell if they can make it out alive.

Closure

2010-06-18T12:35:00.000-07:00

I woke up today with a sense of dread, not sure if I should put myself through anymore emotional turmoil. At one point I had to make a phone call to a friend and just lay it out, the pros and the cons. I finally felt as if all I wanted was a sense of closure, but I wasn't even sure what that was like and if perhaps I had already gotten it. It was a lot of back and forth, but in the end, I felt like I needed to go. Someone told me that there wasn't any sort of closure needed, after all, he was a nobody.
I haven't heard his voice in years, and I felt hearing it again would bring back things I'd much rather keep forgotten. I went, I felt that in the end, I should go, if for anything, support. The voice I heard was nothing like I had remembered it to be, it was grating, a thickened accent, a false sense of weakness, and in it, true weakness, all in all, pathetic and weak. No fear or reminder of terror, no resentment, no anger, not even bitterness, just pity. So as I sat in that courtroom, taking the bleachers, listening in on that phone conference, I sat back and felt like a queen in her throne room in a plastic seat. I felt like I had won. A few hours later, someone asked how it went, and I had no idea what she was talking about. I had already forgotten it.

Emerald City[point]5/belated

2010-06-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

I didn't bother doing a post last night, well it was more I was unable to. My sister's graduation was very touching, it was nice, yeah, the speakers weren't all that great to a lot of people, but I personally enjoyed the speeches. That's probably because I don't know how long it may take me to get there myself, I might as well soak it in while I can now. It's been a roller coaster of emotions for me for the past 24 hours. I got up and helped cook for a get together where my sister's boyfriends family was going to be over, plus Tina and David. I was a bit worried about representing the family and meeting the maybe future-in laws, even though they won't be mine directly. However, they were very nice and I liked them all. The meal was also delicious, with prosciutto wrapped scallops, cheese, baked brie, spring rolls, and many other dishes, I was quite satisfied with everything. After the graduation, we went back to my sister's condo. Of course, the "adults" were too tired to go out and celebrate. Which, I won't lie, really bummed me out. Especially since I haven't really been out much at home, with all my plans constantly falling apart and all of that. But a few minutes later, my sister felt bad and was pretty much "fuck it, let's go". Oh, and did we go, looking back at my tweets, and we didn't get back until the sun was up. It was fun, after 4 to 5 beers, a jager bomb, and 1/2 a shot of something and another of something really disgusting, I was pretty much good to go. I'm sure you an understand the reasoning behind me not being able to post. I love it that the more drunk I get, the more obscene and random my texts can get. Like I can read them and see where I went downhill.

Oh, speaking of being drunk and whatnot, I love having gay friends, and I met two of them last night. One of them however kept talking in acronyms and was talking in high schoolish slang, so I made him stop. It was annoying! And you just got your MBA? Really? Totes is not a substitute for the word totally, and you still use totally? Anyway, all in all, I had a blast last night.

My head still hurts a little.

Emerald City[point]4

2010-06-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

It's the fourth day already? Wow, I guess the days are going be faster now! Woke up around 10 today, helped my sister finish moving things from her old place to her boyfriends, went back to his place/their place, showered and got ready for the rest of the day. I got to have some Molly Moon's, talked with sis, and had french fries with wasabi mayo dip(yum!). I love Molly Moon's, had garlic ice cream and this strawberry sorbet, delicious! Yes, I had garlic ice cream, which left me with a feeling I just had some of my potent garlic mash potatoes. Mmmmm...That was good, it was an odd combination I'll admit, but it was worthwhile to me. We got some Trophy's Cupcakes as well for a barbecue, the barbecue was also a good time. I tend to be shy the first hour or so, but once I warm up I'm good to go. The food was fantastic! Carne asada, burritos, beer, good stuff all around. Took the scenic route home, first night where I got to see the city skyline at night, lovely. The weather today was also very nice! It was sunny weather all day today, it was chilly at night, but the weather was very nice today. :]

I feel bad though, I should have had more substance tonight, but I didn't, so I wanted something to actually eat once I got back to my sister's place. I feel so demanding...I mean I'm sure my sister doesn't mind, but this is her boyfriend's place, so I still feel a little awkward. I mean I'm sure he doesn't mind and he's a nice guy and all, but still.

Well I am very tired now, I've also noticed that my grammar has taken a dip considering I've been writing while half asleep and I apologize for the grammatical errors and typos. Anyway, I'm off, good night!

Emerald City[point]3

2010-06-10T21:57:00.000-07:00

I went to sleep rather late last night, and I didn't expect much in the morning so I didn't budge out of the bed until about 10. Which was rather nice. So after doing some thinking, I found myself dumped around the area of UDub(UW/ University of Washington). Yes, dub, like Dub-ya. I was there for three hours, and I found myself very productive, I explored the bookstores of the UW District, and I was able to fine more books on my reading list! I picked up Choke by Chuck Palaniuk, the complete collection of Oscar Wilde, the complete collection of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and Corelli's Mandolin. Now I just need to find some E.T.A. Hoffman, Haruki Murakami, and some more Palaniuk. I struggled with clothes in the recycable clothing stores, but I can never be all that indecisive with books, putting things on my body versus putting things in my mind are two very different things for me. I found a very impressive game shop by the name of Pink Gorilla, sold the old school stuff as well as the new stuff. The decor was very cool and quirky and thery had a retro arcade in the back, I personally loved it! Also sat down and had another vanilla latte. Yum.

I also went to the Golden Gate Park(I think that's the name?), there was a bring-your-family barbeque. Which was fun, had good food, played some guys, attempted to be social, and floated around Debbie. Then I headed out to a bar with some of Deb's classmates and we caught the Laker game. I'll admit, I'm not a huge fan, in fact, I've been feeling like a bandwagoner these days, not like me, but the games are really exciting! I also just like to cheer on my hometown teams as well, I always feel somewhat obligated to support them. So that's my third day up here, tomorrow I'm doing more.

Pictures to come!

Emerald City[point]2 and other thoughts

2010-06-09T23:52:00.000-07:00

So the second day passed by a little slower. Had two vanilla lattes and some crawfish, with a variety of snacks interspersed. I also finished the first season of Dollhouse on my own time. Which, by the way, is AMAZING! I kind of cheated and watched more then I should have, but that's alright. All in all today was uneventful, still fun, just that this is my third time here. So it's not as if I have a ton to see right now.

I also checked out my transcripts, now updated with new grades, not as high of a GPA as I had hoped, it's a little depressing that I worked so hard for a good GPA and my GPA barely moved. It's going to be a long journey for me. Why do I always feel as if I'm constantly climbing out of holes that I've dug myself into. Don't I know that's harder to climb out of the hole versus jumping into one by now? I'm always doing things the longer and the harder way, learning things the hard way. I'm still trying to get everything right, when will that be? I was born with my name messed up from the beginning, my name came out backwards and omitted. I can't even fix that now. Of course, I don't have the money for it, it always comes back to the finances for me. Perhaps more like the lack of it.

On the plus side, I got a call back for a job interview, though I feel's very disheartening at the fact that they called me twice, hung up on me the first time, and the second time they decided to give me an interview. So I get an interview, great. It's just the vibe I get isn't all that great, but I'll take what I can get. Then I got a rejection e-mail from the Hilton, but only from one position! So maybe they'll give me an interview for the other one? I hope? I don't think I can keep going with working seven hours and making barely more then minimum wage. I got a 24 cent raise. 24 cents. I now get paid about 20 dollars more on my paycheck for working the same amount of hours. Hours I barely have. It's so frustrating! I mean at least I have a job. I'm not neurotic. I have a roof over my head and I was able to afford a plane ticket at least right?

However, I wish the rest of my family was here, at least my Mom. It made me sad to realize that everyone's parents really are going to be there and I'm the only one to "represent" the family, I'm sure my Mom feels even worse about it though. Which only makes me feel even more sad about it.

I also have to meet my sister's boyfriends family. Which made me come to realize that he must think our family is dysfunctional as hell, I mean my god, I met his sister! She's very nice and all, but just seeing how he functions, it makes ME feel bad that I'm not all that far in life. I mean, it genuinely bothers me that he probably thinks that I should be farther along then I should be, I'm bumming it at home after all. I feel that I need to take away the fact that all of these people here are successful and that they all worked hard as students to get where they are. Look at me though, I couldn't get into a university straight from high school and I should have. I'm stuck at a community college, and for an extra year too thanks to budget cuts and class schedule structures and the transfer system! Three years of community college? And I'm pulling my GPA up by .02 at a time. Daunted isn't the word for how I feel, perhaps discouraged? I never cared much for what others thought of me, but now I realize it's not what people think of me, it's a general consensus of who I am to everyone. "Hi, I have an MBA and I've traveled the world and I'm 24, and you are?" It's intimidating! I mean I can smile and shrug it all off and prey that there's more liquor I can access somewhere, but it doesn't erase the fact that I am where I am. And my prospects right now are just, daunting! I'm trying to get out of a hole that I've tossed myself into that pretty deep. My love life sucks because I choke and I can never get the words out, despite the fact that I can never shut up.

I just feel like holing up somewhere. Maybe I should bought a ticket out of the country instead, get the next flight out to anywhere. See where that takes me. I know that right now, this huge monster of insecurities and all things that make me feel inferior at the moment will go away and I'll get working even harder, better, smarter, stronger, whatever. The point is, this won't affect my performance, because I know that I will just channel this into energy and into working harder. Higher productivity. Yes, I hate filling out applications, I hate sucking up, I hate not excelling when I should be, but tomorrow I will. I won't be here forever, I won't say that life sucks, but I'm just taking a different road is all. Ok, now I sound like someone I know, which is no bueno. Too much thinking. I got to suck it up and move on.

"Down the Line"
Jose Gonzalez

An appropriate song.

Emerald City[point]1

2010-06-08T22:44:00.000-07:00

I'm back in the Emerald City to see big sis and to catch her graduation! I couldn't sleep much last night, didn't fall asleep until 4am and I woke up a few hours later to catch my flight. I could not wait to get caffeine into my system!
I finally got a chance to fly Virgin America, though the flight got pretty turbulent toward the end of it! I don't appreciate feeling as if the plane might drop out of the sky. On the plus side, the flight attendant was HOOOT! He looked as if he could have been a vampire straight from True Blood. That was fun.

So I landed and I couldn't help but notice how dry the pavement looked and it struck me strange, and then it struck me even more strange that I would find that strange! I never noticed that the pavement here could look like pavement anywhere. The wet streets of Seattle always glisten with city lights, a mirage or a mirror image. It's a funny illusion. Yes, I know that the pavement is grey no matter where I go.
My first day was relaxing, made dinner with my sister for the four of us(me, sis, sis's boyfriend, boyfriend's sister+dog). Dinner came out to be delicious with some red wine to wash it all down. The night ended with Glee and constant updates of the Laker game. I'm glad to know that I can still keep up with the scores lol. I would add pictures except my sisters' Mac is giving me crap tonight. It's only 11 o'clock and I am about to pass out! It's been too much excitement for me.
Tomorrow: More running around and adventures!

I heard this on the radio out here:

Tumblin' Down by Jenna Andrews

Catch and Release

2010-06-05T01:10:00.000-07:00

Hook me
Reel me in
Then throw me back out

And when you leave me with a
hook
in my mouth
I'll swim on with my medal

It's weird that I feel like that tonight, but I feel as if I'm getting that reaction from friends, dating, and etc. Hmmm.... I suppose it's time for a new scene.

Open till September

2010-06-04T01:45:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving my window open again. It's going to stay open all night.
It's officially summer for me.

Summer in the neighborhood is leaving my window open until September,
when the kids play from sun up to sun down,
and when the sun is down, the party starts.
Summer is when the wild ones let loose the fireworks,
the smell of barbecues
and the sound of smashing bottles.
When there's a ball being thrown around,
people singing drunkenly on the railroads,
and the old hounds howling.

It's hot and sticky,
and at night the crickets go on singing forever.
There is an energy that can't be explained,
maybe it's from the speakers blasting down the street
or from the sprinklers going off,
or even the ice cream truck.
The corn man comes around,
this time he'll have a block of ice.
Shaved ice in this weather is perfect after all.

This is summer in the neighborhood. :)

Mindless Questions

2010-06-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

No, I have not been convicted of a felony....
Yes, I can legally work...
Yes, I can take a drug test...
No, I have never been fired...

Going to job fairs normally entail a certain amount of...say...patience, sucking up, and looking good. Did I mention the sucking up? No, I do not want to hear another feel good story about how you helped some kid and his balloon and got a hug out of it, no, I will not respond to that with "AWWWW". I hate job hunting, it's a mindless process of swallow, rinse, and repeat. If that did not make sense to you, it wasn't supposed to. I especially love it when they do nothing but refer to to an online application, which also ensues an hour long mindless questionnaire that is made up to make sure you are sane. No wonder we're in a recession.

It's kind of sad that my first post of the summer has to involve that. So I'm broke, and I can barely get by on minimum wage, so I'm looking to pick up another job. I won't even bother with the fact that today was an endless stream of one irritation after the other. That's ok though. I will find a better job.

Just wait, there will be a day where I will never have to work in retail or the food industry ever again. Nor will I need to wake up at some obscene hour to watch high school kids take the SAT, or babysit, or dogsit, and any other meaningless odd job that I need to pick up.

On to my fifth application now...sighs...

Boys with Kinky Hair

2010-05-30T23:10:00.000-07:00

Boys with kinky hair who can talk sweet and have wandering hands. My oh my.

"Good Bye"

"It was really nice to meet you, goodbye"

Matters Regarding Peace Today

2010-05-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

A portion from my essay regarding peace in modern times:

Several months ago, I was posed a question on the matter of peace and what I believed was the meaning. My response was one of skepticism as I regaled it as an automated response made by beauty pageant queens. However, I believe it is safe to say that I can retract that comment. Peace is not a hippie movement, but rather it can be achieved through great acts of diplomacy, or sustained movements of people with a clear purpose, or a voice, perhaps all three. It took a great deal of thought and commitment to not just the peace and conflict studies class, but to my international relations class as well. These two classes provided a stark contrast of perspectives in matters of conflicts on all levels. What I came to realize, however, was that the most useful information was found in my Peace and Conflict Studies class and that they were far more applicable then I had originally thought. This class has provided a comprehensive analysis to not just an issue, but the causes that surround it. Even more important was that it provided a guide to nonviolent movements in a way that was down-to-earth and accessible. The idea of impossibility became more and more dissolute as the awareness of a global conscious and the shifting of old doctrines has become tangible to me.

Is war an active component to mankind? This was a question that took me almost ten pages of single spaced type to answer. More accurately, I found myself writing about war for two very different classes, but it merged into a single conclusion. War has been a part of our history for many centuries; however, as we evolve as a civilization, nations have become more and more entangled with each other with the advent of globalization. War is no longer a necessity as a means to gain resources; rather, we simply create trade agreements as a means to sustain one another’s economies. A factor of this is that we must continue to look forward to the future, rather than to the past for answers, or else we may fall prey to the follies of war once again. A key instrument to a healthy society is a blossoming economy, a sustainable government, and a strong educational system with a means to empower its people as well as educate them. As we continue forward, the general need for violence becomes further outdated as we begin to hold each other increasingly accountable. Accountability is something that has not fully flourished, but as pressure builds on governments and corporations, it will spread into the society and become a social norm. I have previously stated that given my past experiences, I found war and violence unnecessary, but it was something that simply happened, this became a fallacy as I came to realize that things do not simply happen, and that certain factors help create conflicts. It is in choosing to accept these fallacies as the natural order that we lose accountability. So in becoming more educated, we find ourselves no longer part of the system as we come to realize where accountability lies.

Monday Blues...

2010-05-24T15:38:00.000-07:00

It's only Monday and just finished all of my classes today, and I already feel drained. I have so many days left...it's almost unfair. But I gotta suck it up and finish this semester strong, I started strong and I gotta finish strong! Feeling a little defeated right now, but no doubt I'll just get up and get going again, after I go for the financial aid appointment, I'm going to go drop off applications. Yay for me getting a second job!

I'm starting to be a girl again, but no more! This is just me randomly babbling until my next thing. Sometimes I feel so busy that it's ridiculous, and I've been under stress, so much going on in life and I can't help but feel all crappy. But I can't sit around and pout and feel sorry for myself. I don't have time for that, got to go out and make money, get the grades, and have a little fun in between. I just wish people weren't so reliable, I've learned only to rely on myself, but god, sometimes I do so much for others and my family does so much for others that it would be nice for people to come through for us sometimes. I need to sell all my textbooks too so I can get some money. Give me a reliable and honest person for once!

I also want to plan a roadtrip through Big Sur as well, need to see who would be down for that. Maybe I'll hitchhike, who knows? I think some alone time would be great too.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2010-05-22T23:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, today was just...wow. I don't even know where to begin...oh I know. How about where age begins and ends in an argument. I think this applies to all people, because I hang out with many friends who are older then me. Age is never a factor when it comes to treating people with respect and equality. Age does not give a person a sense of entitlement unless they have lived their lives to true fulfillment, or have a great deal of experience. I remain steadfast in my principles that age does not justify a persons actions, nor does it ever allow one person to demean others or to be above others in a way that makes them unaccountable for their own actions.
I am young and I will always make mistakes and learn, but I am completely responsible and accountable for my actions and I have certainly gone through my fair share of pain growing up. I respect all people, no matter how young or old they may be, or how different their beliefs from me are. I will not, however, take shit from others who believe themselves to be "higher-then-thou", nor those who disrespect my friends or family. You got beef? Take it up with me, but do not, and I say this with the greatest gravity, do not make a personal matter a public one. You embarrass those around you, and even more so, yourself. Learn to treat others like human beings, learn to take accountability of your own actions, and perhaps you might actually "act your age", whatever that may be. Age has nothing to do with a person's character. Their character speaks louder then anything.

I will not go into the gravity of the words that were thrown at me, perhaps even more is the gravity of the tone, it being one of violence especially, I refuse to respond with the same equal violence. What I do refuse, however, is the undermining of my own value. I know who I am and where I stand, do you?

By the way, telling me you don't want to be friends with me anymore doesn't fight the argument that you throw tantrums like a five year old does. What? Did I take your crayons of something? My bad...

Symptoms

2010-05-20T00:47:00.000-07:00

Writing, to me, has become a bare essential, despite the lack of frequency at times, but I do continue to write. Whether this writing is considered conducive is another matter, however, I was listening to a guest speaker and he began to talk about communication. Scientifically, we are healthier, mentally and physically, when we talk to others about our problems. Now, I found it very interesting that communication can affect our physical health. Which came back to when I was the most sick, and the healthiest, I was often ill when I wasn't writing, versus now, where despite the pressure and stress, I don't feel as stressed and I've been getting by just fine. This also plays into having conversations with friends and family about your issues as well, however, I think I'm at my best when I am writing at my most honest. So is illness actually a symptom to a lack of communication on a psychological level? When I mention communication, I am referring to the unloading of stress to others. So are we all sick on some level?
So if I am at my best communicating honestly, then are liars the terminally ill?

He Whistles Owl City

2010-05-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

The new guy, as cute as he may be, whistles Owl City all over the place when we work. Now while that may sound cute and bubbly, I personally think Owl City is just a ripoff of much better sounds, such as anything Ben Gibbard does. I'm not one to get easily irritated or anything, I actually don't think it's all that irritating, though I'm sure he purposely assails my senses by whistling the tune just to get the song in my head. Alright, now I'm just being over dramatic. I should play nice with other kids right? Well, he's not a kid considering he's actually the ASM, but what can I say? I'm me.

"Nantes" by Beirut

I would love to see more of these guys, they have a certain charisma to their folky sound that doesn't sound like folk.

Kumba...ya?

2010-05-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

I have a page missing! I keep a handful of unposted blogs for rainy days and to keep random ideas on, but that page where I kept my random ideas is gone! Guess what? I'm calling today a rainy day. No, it's not a bad day, I just got this itch to write. No doubt I should be busting out that paper on Afghanistan and their current economic and political woes, but I'm typing things here instead. Maybe I should start writing here for the sake of writing. Oh! I know!

So my Peace and Conflict Studies class is an interesting class for the most part, it puts things into perspective from the view of an nonviolent advocate/activist. It also gives both a down to earth perspective as well as the perspective of politics. However, if there is one thing that annoys me about the class, it's when she gets into this whole thing about love. I'm talking about Kumbaya-love-thy-neighbor-hippie-phase. C'mon. Really? Really?.... Not to demean anybody, but it gets played out. Everyone I've ever met who has been a huge proponent of this kind of love is only capable of this kind of love, and ONLY capable of that state of being. It's nice to be free spirited, but it annoys me when there's no follow through. You want world peace? Then go do something about it and stop talking to me about conspiracy theories and the project on the new American century. (Project on a New American Century, go look it up, THAT is all real, ask Bush) I want to love the whole world, but are you a doer or do you just huff shit? Guess what I'm saying is that people love to practice this kind of love, which is great, but not everyone is a regular Gandhi until they go and do something about it. So this is a message for you Mr. Love-Mother-Nature-At-Burning-Man, stop talking to me about loving everyone because it's cool to do that and actually DO something about it!

Well on that note, I'm going to write that paper on Afghanistan, maybe I'll post it on here too. Kumbaya folks.

Overrated

2010-05-16T02:00:00.000-07:00

Romance is completely overrated. Romance in tasteful doses is fine, but the need to generate an appearance of it is not only unnecessary, but it undermines the actual definition of romance. Romance is to woo, to have an ardent emotional attachment, or it could be a base-less, made up story that is usually full of exaggeration. These are actual dictionary definitions by the way. My point is that in a world of the cosmopolitan playboys and playgirls, what do people want and need in a relationship? I think we get our physical wants wrapped up into this disillusionment of what we actually need. Anyone up for simple intimacy and an emotional connection? I find that that is hard to achieve given the years of entitlement that we have established over the generations. So what do you want? The physical versus the emotional? Personally, I prefer go on a day by day basis, no looking to far ahead, and certainly not too far back, because I think that just kills the romance.

Speaking of romance, what is up with dating these days?
Quite frankly, I find it hard to enjoy an actual "date". The last one I had was dull, why? It lacked imagination. Romance without imagination is just a "base-less, made up story that is usually full of exaggeration". Now you may find that contradictory, but in actuality, do you really want to go somewhere with someone where the story has been played out? Dinner and a movie? Long walks on the beach? Where did originality go? So no to wooing me with chocolates and played out lines, how about a little adventure? If you look at it, aren't we just doing the same thing everyone else does simply because we do? Throw in a little imagination and spontaneity, but don't let it be something where it does not express who you are.

Passion Pit "Sleepy Head"

It's that time again!

2010-05-13T01:02:00.000-07:00

I'm busting out the to-do list, so you guys know what THAT means:

-Int'l Relations Quiz Mon, 17th
-Int'l Relations Presentation due Wed, 19th
-Peace Studies Contemporary Issues Paper due Wed, 19th
-Peace Studies Journal and Social Activism Project due the 26th
-Gov't Final the 24th
-Int'l Relations Final the 24th
-History Final the 24th
-Paper or Japanese literature due?....

Let's knock these bad boys out!

HAPPY FINALS!

Shoot to Thrill

2010-05-07T02:48:00.000-07:00

Two words:

Black Widow.

REWIND:
The night began in a slow moving Game Stop as such:
"Thank you for calling Game Stop where you can get an additional 30% more on trade-ins. This is Christina speaking, how may I help you?"
"Hi! This is _______, posing as a customer"
"...." (My thinking here is, HUH?)
"Do you have Iron Man 2 the game?"
"Yes we do"
"Would you like to watch Iron Man 2 tonight?"
"............Just one moment, let me call you back"
*Runs outside to take trash out and busts out phone, an hour later, I am in the car headed to the theater.

That being said, Iron Man 2 was INCREDIBLY awesome! The Captain America shield, the Hulk, and THOR!?! Oh man, and then you had War Machine and Nick Fury. It was pretty awesome :)
(Although sitting between two guys while watching Black Widow kick ass was uncomfortable since they were clearly "fidgeting", yeah, that was not...awkward) I had fun to say the least, I went with a good group of people! Back to the movie, Don Cheadle took over as Rhodey, the writers made the transition as smooth as possible, however, it was still a different Rhodey, nonetheless, I still enjoyed him as War Machine.

I could go on forever about Iron Man 2, but I know I'll be geeking out for week. It's also great to see that Marvel has fully taken control of every aspect of production in their movies now, Fox had a huge part in the past, I believe it had to do with financing the movies before. However, now that Marvel has been very successful as of late, they can run the movies the way they are supposed to be made. Disney now owns Marvel as well, I originally believed that this was going to be a bad move for many of the franchises, however, I now see that Marvel will have more freedom with their scripts and budgets due to the fact that Disney now finances them. I'm sure Mickey Mouse will milk Marvel like no other, thus, there will be a series of sequels to be expected.

On another note, there was a flurry of previews and trailers that got me ridiculously stoked.

Prince of Persia:

Avatar: The Last Airbender

And last but not least.... SUPER 8....but of course there is no OFFICIAL trailer yet since it's kept under lock and key. However, someone DID post this!

Oh J.J. Abrams...you sexy sneaky bastard...

Oh, I forgot to mention, Tony Stark. Yes, Tony Stark. If I do not mention him even once, it would be a shameful thing. And Robert Downey Jr.

And one last thing, Tony and Pepper...took them long enough!

Generation Gaps

2010-05-06T01:23:00.000-07:00

So I don't know if anyone has ever read Class by Sherman Alexie, but between classes and work, I was eating and figured I'd do some reading for my class. Now I'm starting to read literature about the melting pot that is America, and the cultures that create it. I could not stop reading this short story and it made me think of Vietnamese American culture today. There are three classes of Vietnamese people that I have come to notice these days. There are the elders, the F.O.B.s, and the white washed. I'm not going to write so much about the different generations, since there is still a flow of Vietnamese immigrants, however, they do separate themselves.
The traditional generations are very concerned with keeping the culture, the language, and the bloodlines within themselves. The FOBs, or Fresh-Off-the-Boat, normally refers to those to immigrate at a young age, their English still has an accent, their clothes and manners still adhere to some cultural standards, yet it is a bastardization of the traditional Vietnamese culture and westernization. They often marry within the culture as well. Then there are those who are white washed, those of Vietnamese descent who are born in America. A popular trend with this group can either lead to a rejection of traditional values, as well as the language, or a desperate attempt to embrace it.

It's always interesting to grow up not wanting to have anything to do with my own culture or language, I've grown to embrace it now, however, I still can't imagine marrying within my own culture, or adhering to strict rules within it. So often times, those of this generation is at odds with the older generations and there is a lack of understanding between both. Anyway, reading literature about the McDonaldization of cultures and what it leaves behind had me thinking about the acceptance and rejections of culture.

Feeling Cheap

2010-05-04T02:17:00.000-07:00

In a world where we know the price of everything and the value of nothing, I feel exactly like that all the time. I'm living by my price when no one will look to my value. Am I too expensive? Am I too cheap? Am I worth my value and is my value worth my price? It's like the price of meaningless sex, where the value leaves you feeling cheap. There are times when I feel the need to justify myself to others and it always leaves a dirty taste in my mouth. That what you see is not what you get, because I could be so much more then the price they labeled me to be. If could be valued far more then what I've been given, that would be a gift. I am worth more then meaningless sex, because feeling cheap does not equate to my values. If I have to sit here and justify that to people simply because I talk the way I do, and I carry myself the way I do, then I am not who I was meant to be according to everyday standards.

Paper Mache Dragons

2010-05-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

So I have a case of the Monday Blues today, I was barely able to get out of bed, and when I got to campus, I weighed my options of going to class and going to take a nap at the nurses office. I figured that it wasn't worth sitting in class for two hours to listen to some old guy about his draft dodging days. So I went to the nurses office and wound up passing out for almost two hours, and in that time, I had one of the most bizarre dreams. And if I think it's a bizarre dream according to my standards, then this one has got to be special!

So I dreamed that I woke up from my nap in the nurses office, and I was lying in the Laz-e-Boy chair still really groggy. So finally I got up, and when I got up, I noticed that someone else was in the other chair, and this person saw me. It happened to be a girl I knew in high school, except she looked like she had lost a lot of weight, was healthier in general, more mature, and off every possible medication she had once been on, as well as had her life straightened out. So we left the office together, talking and whatnot, and the sunlight was incredibly gorgeous and it had this glowing, gold tint to it. So I felt as if everything around me had a slight glow to it. As I walked around with her, and sometimes without her, I would catch a paper mache dragon in the corner of my eye! But every time I turned around to see it, it was gone! It was a large dragon too! It wasn't dangerous, at least from what I could tell, and I figured it was actually friendly, but every time I turned around when I saw it in the corner of my vision, it would disappear! The majority of the dragon portions of my dream involved me being on my own on my campus.
As I continued walking around, I saw a small group of people sitting on the ground dressed as paper mache bears and they were doing some sort of demonstration or protest! Again, I kept thinking about the odd paper mache dragon, but I didn't see it again. I believe I was just trying to find lunch too.

When I finally woke up, I was confused because I thought I was already awake, but I noticed that I was still wrapped in a blanket and my flats were still off. Suddenly I realized I must have been really late for my next class already, but when I finally found my phone and looked at the time, I actually had enough time to get coffee and go to my next class, not missing anything at all. Anyway, I don't think I could have dreamed up of an elusive paper mache dragon on any given day. But that dream had this fairy tale touch to it, with everything glowing and somewhat hazy, and the trees and grass looked incredibly brilliant. Everything felt warm in that dream too. It was quite the dream I must admit. I know that dreams tend to have meanings to it, but I think I want this dream to just stay a dream with no need to look into it, I think it's good enough to have gone on that trip by itself.

A little Corrine Bailey Rae to smooth out my day:

There's nothing like an endless night, fantastic lights, and crashing into love for a night, this song somehow captures the dreamy, hazy feeling I love when I'm out and about with good people.

Then there's this:

For some odd reason, this sums up everything for me for the day too. Duel songs to set me straight.

Huh...I have two posts for the same day, well one was for late last night. But today is today and yesterday was yesterday.

Dirty Indiscretions and Imaged Bodies

2010-05-03T00:46:00.000-07:00

As a follow up to last night, I rolled out of bed to commemorate the death of my grandfather today. Quite frankly, I felt like the dirty Mexican rolling into church after a night of debauchery. I mean, I wasn't too crazy last night, though seeing my blog turn ghetto-fab, I think it's safe to say my inhibitions were lowered a bit.

Anywho, I planned a Korean BBQ outing with all of my coworkers, which was lots of fun, though my manager and assistant manager were looking at my coworker, who was sitting next to me, and they were giving him the thumbs up sign and what not. I'm not going to try to read into that, I should also stop being so damn nosy! I didn't realize it until today when I caught myself saying things, and pushing for info and volunteering/inviting myself for things. How rude can I be? Anyway, I'm going to put a leash on that, it's not very...appealing of me to do that.

On another note, I am going to change my eating habits, I need to, I had HORRID indigestion the
other day, and I read up the causes. Well the list covered everything from caffeine, to eating late, eating bad, and eating improperly. So that settles it, I need to stop or else I'll be killing my body.

Speaking of body, I've never really talking about my body before, but I'm a curvy girl. Now I keep hearing about how people still think I'm cute, which is nice, and I know that I can look at myself and still think I'm cute with the right clothes. But I'm starting to wonder how much I invest on covering all my flaws up. Am I any more or less attractive? Am I just doing it for my own sake? In a lot of ways, yes, so what do I do about it? Starve? Adopt a diet and an exercise regimen? I can't help but remember how I used to look at myself in the past, and let me tell you, it wasn't just a battle with a mirror, it was war on my body and how I viewed myself. I now find myself attractive and comfortable with my body, and that's hard to do these days. So when women like Adele, America Ferrara, and Christina Hendricks, make it out on the scene, I admire them because they wear their bodies well, and they wear it proudly.

I want to be able to look at myself, no matter my shape, and say, this is me, and I am damn proud, so long as it's not unhealthy. I can maintain my weight, but I've been thinking of diets and all of that, maybe I'm lazy, who knows, but all of this got me thinking about body image and one's attitude and how that reflects yourself to other people. I've always said to myself that it isn't what you wear, it's how you wear it. So it doesn't matter your size, it's how you carry yourself.

The amazing Christina Hendicks! :)

Coca-Cola Freestyle, Margaritas, Tequila, Midget Town

2010-05-02T02:25:00.000-07:00

Call me Watson.

'Twas an epic night full of many interesting adventures, bonding, and liquor laced fun. Oh and midgets. Did I mention the midgets? So while I'm quite happy with the way I can handle myself with liquor, though I'm sure I could have had more, I figured it'd be better to stay on the low end. Not that that stopped the liquor from affecting me, but it's all good. So where to begin my day... Oh yes! At work, dragged my sleep deprived ass to work today, was out of it most of my shift, made it home and had the worst indigestion ever! I was in PAIN, laid in bed in the fetal position till some meds kicked in, it was not enjoyable, then half an hour later, I was pretty much out the door with some friend of mine to hunt down THIS:

It's the coke machine of the future and it was great, my friends and I found this machine and went wild! We spent at least two hours getting up and down screwing with the machine and eating. Then we went back to our friends' place, made margaritas and had some tequila, then it was off to Midget Town. Now what is Midget Town? It's a town, or more of a gated community, for midgets, and yes, it does exist! Their houses are interestingly enough, are a bit smaller, with smaller doors even! Three out of four of us were drunk, if not, pretty damn tipsy, so it made the night great. We made sure to leave our IDs at the car so that if the cops try to get us, we can split up and hide until they pass, so we wouldn't lead them back to the car. If they did catch us, we wouldn't have our IDs on us either. So on the excursion, the boys had to run off to take a piss. One of 'em is such a cutie, he's funny when he's drunk, as in running in circles and "I want to just hug you" kind of thing. He told me not to post this at all, but I am. So HA! James is a fucking happy go lucky drunk! And we watched rubber nipples. LOL
The conversations was interesting to say the least. So we found ourselves on some trail that went by the houses, and man, doing that at 1 in the morning was interesting, I freaking though Freddy Kruger was going to jump out or some shit, the boys took turns pissing so they could "walk" with us girls. But bitch, I can fucking handle. Mmmmhhmmmmm.... damn me and my ghetto ass talk right now. This is what happens when I am all over the place.

So at the end of the night, we hit up Jack in the Crack for some food, I got some curly fries and was quite happy with that, after a detour or so, I'm home. I wound up vegging out on the couch for a bit, it's funny how that stuff can hit me toward the end of the night. I also have a new nickname. My name is Watson bitches, what up!?

"Kiss and Make Up"

2010-04-29T12:48:00.000-07:00

So let me get this straight, you want to give me a bunny, because you think that that will create a truce? What are we? In Kindergarten? Do you feel guilty for taking my crayons or something? If you want to play kiss and make up, and "let's put the past behind us", then let's do it like grown ups now. I'm all for forgiving, but it's insulting to me as a person to do that, I'm not one for drama, and teenage angst is no longer a prerequisite for solidarity. Okay okay, so you want to be friends again, cool, fine, but are you ready for the real world? If you want to jumpstart a relationship, you have to do it respecting the other person. Saying something like, "as long as she's willing to be civil" is not something to say if you want to do that, and thinking that I'd make things awkward is an insult to me too because it shows that you clearly think of me in the negative. Having a predisposed disposition of the other party before you can restart a relationship is not how you do it. You sit down and you talk, simple as that.

When you can respect yourself and respect me, let's try this, but don't start something like that thinking that, because it'll get you nowhere sweetheart. Welcome to the real world.

Nostaligia and Masochism

2010-04-28T18:03:00.000-07:00

There are times when I look back and just think of the most depressing thoughts. From what I can tell, I currently have no suicidal tendencies, but I've come to a realization that nostalgia can either result in feelings of wistful longing or masochism. Then I tell myself to suck it up, grow up, and just make new, happier memories, if all you can remember are the bad memories, just make new ones! So I'm sitting here trying to do that, despite the fact that I'm so broke I can't stand to look at my bank account right now and it makes me sad when people look at me funny when I say things like it is. My raunchy, but blunt self, can be a little too much, I get that, but I am who I am. I've always felt comfortable in my own body(for the most part), and when I'm in a crowd of strangers, I have my center to keep me from swaying too much. I've always kept myself steady and together, sometimes with the help of a friend or a family member, a lot of times on my own. Perhaps I'm feeling this way because I'm hungry and I want to go home and bake cupcakes already. Maybe I just lack intimacy, and I don't mean that in the sexual way, I mean the connection a person shares with another that helps let you know you aren't the crazy one.

Oh geez, this blog itself is a monument of existentialist masochism, I need to write about something far more productive. Like cats, brownies, and maybe apples.

I just rediscovered an old song and I think this sums up my bummy mood for some odd reason:

I've got a hunger
Twisting my stomach into knots
That my tongue was tied off

My brain's repeating
"if you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth.

Baa bah, this is the sound of settling
Baa bah, baa bah
[x2]

Our youth is fleeting
Old age is just around the bend
And I can't wait to go grey

And I'll sit and wonder
Of every love that could've been
If I'd only thought of something charming to say.

Baa bah, this is the sound of settling
Baa bah, baa bah
[x4]

I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots.

This is the song I've dancing to all day(s):

Just BE

2010-04-22T02:40:00.000-07:00

It's easy to sit around and just want to feel sorry for yourself. But where's the satisfaction in being a masochist? I've gone day to day refusing to let myself be down because of other people. I hate it, but it's tough when I'm sitting alone and I feel like...well...crap... I have to keep reminding myself of all the good things that I have, the things I am working for, and the people around me. I have a wonderful opportunity around me to do something with myself, and I was given that, so I want to make things happen. Today was a good day, but the things I did today made it so. If I look at everyday as a blank slate, no such thing as a bad or a good day, just what you make of it. I refuse to name days as bad or good and then let creep into who I am.

I have one simple saying for people who want to be happy. Just BE happy, and you will have happiness. It's not a matter of gaining things to make yourself happy, but if you, as a person, are happy, things will feel so much more simpler. Do it, degunkify your life a little and just be happy for the sake of being happy. No one ever needs a reason to be happy, you can just BE.

Rain in California

2010-04-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

I love the rain. I always have and always will. However, mucking about in the rain with no umbrella(ella ella ella) to speak of is not an enjoyable experience. On the plus side, the long drought that has plagued California seems to have come to a temporary pause. Whether or nor the weather will permit any kind of moisture to stay is another thing however. I'm not sure if this whole paragraph makes any sense at the moment, but that's alright, for now I'm just ranting mindlessly.

I've been playing catch up with a number of good friends, it's really nice to have back-up when you need it you know? I've been trying to reach a friend of mine, however, he's fallen off the face of the Earth and I worry about him.

Anywho, I need to find a camera and make use of it, I think we have a camera where it can instantly load pictures to websites. I need to make use of this function somehow.

Hmm....Dragons, vibrators, lamb skewers, co-ed romances, and puddles...of course

Editing Papers and Posts

2010-04-19T00:13:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I wish people could see my face whenever I read their papers. I mean, really? You guys are in college? Good lord, what happened to the English language? I hear people tell me that they don't care about writing in the correct manner unless it's for something that matters. I think this is where integrity comes in, if you don't care, who does? I believe someone once told me the meaning integrity, which came down to this. It's doing the right thing when no one is looking.

Anyway, I suppose it's a pet peeve of mine when people make so many grammatical errors, I understand if it happens from time to time, but when it's all the time, it kind of shows me how lazy that person is. More then that, this whole rant started because a friend of mine, who is an English major, keeps a blog, and instant messages from time to time. Let me tell you, her grammar and spelling annoys me! She knows that she's an English major, so be one. It's one thing if I see errors from to time, and I make them too, but really? Really? Is it THAT hard to think and write? Okay, maybe I'm being mean, but no matter how tired I am, I do my job. It's pure and simple.

Well, I'm done, I need to finish my essay on existentialism now. Je sigh...

It's April!?!?

2010-04-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it's April now, and not just April, it's the middle of April! It's insane how time can fly by. My last post came from January and since then....well...I've had another failed attempt at romance, made new friends, reaffirmed friendships, helped fixed broken hearts, had too many papers, wrote on too little sleep, had a battle with my laptop, found my way through L.A. with some friends, found myself having odd crushes, and I still find myself suspended in disbelief at times.

Life certainly is funny. But I'm glad I'm living it.

Alice + Dorian Grey+ tea+ an odd hour =

2010-01-21T01:56:00.000-08:00

Oscar Wilde said it best, "Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault." So, if we were to find beautiful meanings in ugly things, then is this also a fault? I must digress, if we are at fault for this, then what is beauty? In the eye of the beholder? Does it come packaged in golden locks and a magnetic smile? Is it charm? A keen sense of humor perhaps? Or a witty, sharp, tongue? Point is, what is beauty if there is no real aesthetic, intrinsic meaning to it? Is our perception of beauty simply a reason to attract others, or be attracted? Then why the attention? We walk around, begging for attention, and when we receive it, it's not the attention we want, nor is it needed. If art for the sake of art took on beauty for the sake of beauty, would that be equivalent to attention? Beauty for the sake of beauty, just as attention for the sake of attention. The word beauty has no true meaning, if the meaning mutates from time period to time period, from person to person. As for attention, the meaning has morphed from blood lines, to wealth, to reality t.v., which leaves us to two very pointless things. Beauty and attention, why give them names, when they have no meaning?

Let's pretend that beauty is no longer called beauty, let's call it...worcht. That woman is very worchty. What's the first image you come up with?
What about attention? There is no such thing as attention, instead, it is called torg. Anything come to mind yet? A spark? If names hold no meaning, why give it a name, for what is the point of having something with a name when the meaning is everchanging?

We hold so much value on a title when we have no firm grasp on the meaning of it. In the end, over the years, the meaning changes, in fifty years time, that word would lose it's original meaning and turn into something else, if not, it is simply archaic.

If Lewis Carroll and Oscar Wilde sat down together, would this be the conversation they might have

Dilemma [point] one

2010-01-20T02:04:00.000-08:00

I have a bit of a dilemma, I attract douche bags, jerks, and creeps. Now is it something I exude? I really don't get it. I may continue to ramble on about this for some time until I have made significant progress, however, I find myself consistently, well, I would say lost, except that isn't the right word. Point is, what do I do now?

Jot [point] two

2010-01-16T03:13:00.000-08:00

-She stood over, her hands ,knobby, molded the piece of cloth into twisted pretzels, the water had long vaporized under the sun. Still she twisted, a repetitive motion that was the only familiar thing left.

- As her senses was assailed by her own conscious, she was left voiceless, gasping for air as she suffocated under the terror that crept, cold, into her heart. It squeezed, and squelched that soundless scream. She could not pull herself out from this dream as the shadow bled its way toward her down that hall of doors. Her night terrors were suddenly tangible, real, as she lay suffocating in her own sleep, quieted by her own silent nightmares.

I suddenly needed to write down scenes from somewhere.

Laying Out Some Ideas

2010-01-16T02:32:00.000-08:00

-Tents loomed above the kingdom of vendors, acrobats, clowns, and contortionists, and at the center of it all, the Grand Chapiteau. It's splendor long lost in ages of dirt and filth, the colors had faded, and the once spectacular palace that had at one point, been painted in magnificent colors in the form of paisley, dots, stripes, and a variety of designs had lost its grandeur. It seemed to hang, suspended in the air with its corners pinched to maintain some shape.

-Jube's mind spun as her senses were overwhelmed by the new landscape. She wasn't home anymore, but she was almost sure she had either died or was simply no longer in the same world. She stood on the hilltop, muddled in her thoughts, then finally, she had no choice but to simple begin her descent into the city. As she made her way through the high grass, avoiding all dirt roads, she maintained hidden as she waited for an inhabitant of the city to pass by. A foreigner in a place such as this did not seem safe. Perhaps if she saw what a citizen looked like , then perhaps she could find a way to blend in. "What do I do? What am I doing? What am I going to do? Where am I? How did I get here? Please let it be drugs", Jubilee's mind continued to regurgitate various thoughts in different order.

-The dirt suddenly seemed to shift under her eyes. Jubilee froze as the various pebbles and gravel in front of her began to slither and with it, grew legs. Her eyes widened as her mouth opened to let out a scream, but she immediately clamped a hand, in fear of attracting anything else. She lifted a foot and slowly began to retract her way through the high grass when her foot hit a root and upon toppling over, she realized the root was not supposed to be there. The root lashed out at her ankle, it had somehow grown itself a hand and began to drag her sideways. A noise left her throat, it seemed high pitched, and a cold realization creeped into her thoughts. She was screaming and no one heard her, she clawed at the roots, digging her nails in, but to no avail, she reached to grab hold of a rock to bash at the wooden hand. Nothing. The cliff loomed in her sight.
"No! No no no no! This can't be happening!" as these words left her mouth, she clawed at anything, trying to find something to use to cut herself free, her thoughts raced at the speed of light as she tried to free herself. Terror was no longer a precept as it consumed her, all thoughts were suddenly wiped away as she found her voice choked by terror's shroud. She continued to be dragged, dragged, and she dropped from the cliff.
She fell, and fell, and fell....

-His face was caked in colors, but smears of dirt seemed to unravel his disguise. This was the famous son of the Trickster? He was no jester for no smile decorated his face, his eyes were an unfathomable sadness, yet he moved in a fluid motion. Then a voice floated past his lips, it was odd, the deep voice did not belong here. "Can I be of service?"

-"Well you're a jester aren't you? I think it's time we entertain" Her eyes flared with guile as she smiled persuasively.

-The Ringleader and his Harlequin queen

"When I grow up, I'm running away to join the circus"

2010-01-15T01:48:00.001-08:00

If there is any way to describe Kooza, it'd be that. It was amazing to say the least, the Trickster is just electrifying, he glides in and out, playing a ringleader and an overseer to the "Innocent", he moves like water as he teases the audience. I love him, he's amazing as he watches over the acrobats, contortionalists, trapeze artists, and tight rope walkers, with a wave of his hands, he is truly a master at entertainment and engagement. Just being in that kind of amazing atmosphere just brought me a thousand ideas for a story. The different aspects of human beings played by different acrobats and the Ringleader who leads his unexpecting audience through each acrobat and the story they tell.

I hope I dream in acrobats and Tricksters tonight.

Story: A young woman who runs away from home to join a circus in hopes to find adventure and to leave her abusive past behind. In the circus however, she finds herself thrust into a world unlike any other. The circus she finds is not quite a circus, but rather, a journey into another world. As she stumbles into the circus tent, she falls into a world of not just trapeze artists and tightrope walkers, but a world beyond her imagination. Where the Ringleader is King, and a very enigmatic clown leads her through the underground to help her find her way home. How do you throw a circus for a world that is already a circus?

Jubilee the Harliqueen

Throwing a Circus Act

"Why Jack, how kind of you to join, I have not seen you in the Jester's Court for many days now. Prey tell my loyal subject, it seems you've found a wandering troubadour, will you be entertaining us?....

His expression played the smile of an entertainer, but a hardened light was visible in his eyes. He had run out of ideas, the Ringleader and his Harliqueen expected entertainment.

Quentin smiled through the iron bars, Jack's impassive face looked on calmly, surprised at her smile. "We're entertainers aren't we? Well, let's go and do what we do best afterall." Her eyes lit at the idea of excitement, she smiled a persuasive smile. They had a game to play now.

Jot [point] one

2010-01-14T02:22:00.000-08:00

Prompt: Two childhood friends unexpectedly fall in love during a trip to New York.

-One is to be married and the other spent a lifetime finding herself traveling
-Both find eachother on a subway
-Favorite hole in the wall restaurants
-Dirty hotels, rotten milk, gum-filled sidewalks
-Green, vibrant shrubbery and brilliant colors
-Awkwardness

Hmm....this exercise seems to show that I have very incomplete thoughts, I had a lot of ideas, however, they flashed by faster then I could write it all out.

Ow

2010-01-13T01:33:00.000-08:00

I don't get it anymore. Did you have to be so callous? Telling me I deserved it made me feel more hurt then anything else. I get it, I must have hurt you in some way and I wish you just told me because I feel as if this old war wound was ripped anew. I wish people didn't let others feel forgotten because it feels nice to be needed and to need someone in return, but when wants and needs don't meet, someone's going to get hurt. Are you happy that we're both bleeding now?

19th Century is the new 21st

2010-01-08T05:41:00.000-08:00

I love the 19th century, I do! Now I'm not talking about the whole steampunk subculture that is taking off, although, it does have soft place in my heart, after all, they dressed better then us. I'm trying to get at the ideas formed, the machines created, the drugs, that belt in which society kept tight against the tides of change. You had great literary minds like Elliot, Longfellow, Poe, Coleridge, Emerson, Dickens, and so many other great authors. Then you have the change in which science turned. The Wright brothers got it right, Darwin wrote his infamous "Origin of Species", and Charles Babbage, whom, if he had truly succeeded in the first computer, imagine how different the world would be today. There was class, adventure, a time where original was truly original. The artists that painted a new way to see the world, and Oscar Wilde who said, "Art for the sake of art." What would our world be if we were still in this time of chaotic industrialism? What if technology took a completely different turn? So different that computers would be made of turnstiles and brass machinery? Is this why we are seeing a resurgence of the 19th century?

I do. There is a sense of nostalgia for the past, perhaps we miss the days where technology could be understood, after all, the late 19th century was the last time the common man could truly comprehend the mechanisms that drove all machinery. With the silicon chip, who needs comprehension? Machines that are built from the hands of strangers, with strange parts, and stranger ways of working. This is alienation, a sense of isolation from material objects. The very material objects we buy to fill this void in which we created. When you lose the ability to comprehend, you become isolated by not only your own ignorance, but by the trap in which society built to fill the void that it created. So my question is, the farther we get from our forefathers, what would be left to anchor us down?

Maybe they just dressed a lot better then us. I certainly think they do.

Impetus-tic, Discombobulate, and words that make for no meaning

2010-01-07T01:53:00.000-08:00

Dear ___________,
I stumbled upon your article, "___________". Well, this struck me in the most odd way considering my life consists of "stucking". I'm not talking about the occasional ruts or setbacks, I'm talking about being stuck, whether it's between a rock and a hard place or in a hole. While reading this article, I was completely engrossed and I felt like a sponge just sucking up every word. I was so engrossed in fact, that, I forgot I was hungry. A sometimes not so easy task, and I'm not saying that I am in a constant state of hunger or anything, it's just that, when you're hungry, you're hungry! Before I ramble on about something irrelevant, thanks to this article, I suddenly feel compelled to write.
More then compelled, but on track. Maybe it took me a long time of playing ping pong with the idea of picking up a pen, or even soccer with majors, but I've bounced it back to this. I should write, why? Because I love deadlines, I love beating them more then anything else, I love a challenge, I love it when ideas and words mesh together to create a coherent thought, I love it when, despite running on an hours worth of sleep and having to sit in a pile of failed drafts, you get it. I love it when I push myself past the point of unoriginality, and somehow create something altogether new. I love having a passion where I feel that I can freely create worlds and people and situations and collide them in a way that resembles life. But beyond that, I simply enjoy the idea of staring at a well done paper that isn't dripping in red ink.

So here I go, I'm Christina Nguyen and I am an English major.

Post. Script. Happy Birthday to my Mommy!

10 in and 10 out made a lousy game

2010-01-04T01:30:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEARS MY INVISIBLE FOLLOWERS!

I apologize for my consistently inconsistent blogging methods. Then again, what methods? So yes, a decade in and a decade out and I'm almost 20 already. While congratulations are in order, I think it's safe to make a better-late-then-never list of "Things-of-Banged-My-Head-Over". Shall I dare to even make a resolution? As a beloved character once said, "Inconceivable!".

10 Things I've Banged My Head Over This Past Decade
1) Overthinking
2) Shortlived passions to change the world
3) Being repetitive
4) Not thinking when I should have
5) Lack of better reasoning and argumentation when needed
6) Boys
7) My writing methods that seem to prove that I am a masochist
8) Changing my major/career/future a thousand times, please refer to number 2
9) Family
10) My non-committal habits of dropping in and out of people's lives and vice-versa

10 Things I Will Achieve
1) My degree
2) My license.....(to kill)
3) An appropriate major
4) A well maintained social life
5) A healthier obsession toward writing
6) A better love life in general
7) A way to express myself to others in a way that won't make me wish I could choke on my words, this involves a more "tactful" approach to the truth without having to be overly politically correct.
8) A job, preferably one that pays well that does not involve the selling of my soul.
9) A mode of transportation that allows me to go from point A to point B without having to worry about the occasional stalker and serial killer on the bus. I take that back, a mode of transport without having to share it with unwanted passengers.
10) A more active lifestyle

So three cheers for the new year! Well 10 actually, since it was a decade that went by. Something or other...like that...yes....I believe so.

Batches of cupcakes, coffee cakes, and cookies... and a Jolly Christmas to you all!

2009-12-23T02:13:00.000-08:00

Christmas came and went, and yes, my baking frenzy knew no boundaries. 48 cupcakes, 36 jamprint cookies, one big Costco pumpkin pie, and a delicious coffeecake later, followed by the assorted dishes my Mom cooked in the droves, it is safe to say my calorie count exceeded past the 5 month mark. My sister just complained that days after of eating nonstop, she has found her ass to be of no shape familiar. This doesn't surprise me very much, then again, my body isn't a familiar shape anyway.

On another thought, working in retail has killed my holiday spirit, it's a rather sad thought, however, when you're dealing with a constant flood of customers demanding, asking, throwing tantrums, and destroying the store, you don't feel too jolly either. However....on a happy note.... MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Finals and other thoughts

2009-12-13T16:28:00.000-08:00

They did it, they hooked up, not just friends, but it feels like everyone is. It's kind of sad if you think about it. Don't get me wrong, it's great if they're happy, of course, I have my reserves about a certain "relationship". Okay okay, what can I say? A girl is going to wonder about the intentions of some people, and it worries me a little to see how things are going. I really should be worrying about my finals, I am, but I'm not going insane over them. I take that back, I am going a little nuts, but that's because I have a family who barges into my room every ten minutes, thus ruining my train of thought. Really, have you tried to write a perfect paper(well no such thing as perfect), with family who constantly banging at your door? I mean, really? Really? So yes, I'm writing all of this out to clear my head more or less.

Alright, so my thoughts as of right now? Well, other then the idea of involving myself into a string of luckless one night stands and some rather hopeless ideas about the opposite sex, I may as well be celebate and "Get thee to a nunnery!", as Hamlet would say. Now while I could take on a very Holden Caulfieldish outlook on life, I would much rather commit myself to other things. I have a job now, I've been blackballed by our pathetic school system, and my best friend is dating a manwhore, whom at one point I had liked, though I'm over him and I thinking about dating other people outside the normal circle.
Hmmm....I'd rather stick to the idea of one night stands. The idea of relationships is nice, but it gets messy, and by messy, that means I have to share a lot of myself, while hoping people don't think I'm stupid. Last time I did that, I felt like an idiot. Friends don't think your stupid because they're your friends, but there are times when I hate being political and diplomatic, I feel like I'm lying to myself when I do that. I got yelled at a few days ago for being insensitive, but what can I say? I can be blunt and brutally honest, I can be diplomatic if I have to be, but there are times when I hate it. I know that I can be insensitive, and by insensitive, I mean my words can be cruel and I can sound like a snob. But honestly, why be politically "correct" when you feel dirty for saying it? Am I selfish for giving my honest opinion about things? If a person doesn't like it, then don't listen to me, simple as that, move on. Yes, I can be a bitch, yes, I can think too much, and yes, I can say too much, but hey, that's just who and how I am. I know people think I can be selfish and that I don't care about people, but I do care about others, I can be a little wayward about the way I say things, but that's okay. I'll get it done and everything, I'll say what I need to say and I'll pick up the pieces when my friends come crying to me. Would I be any other way?

Toasting to Tomorrows

2009-11-19T00:22:00.000-08:00

It's another night for hopeless mistakes
It's another night for small regrets
It's another night for old scars
And bleeding hearts

But here's to raising our glass
To new lessons
To better days
To stronger friends
To next best lovers
To family
And to people who become safety nets and bandaids

So make your eyelash wishes
The champagne kisses
To blowing dandelions
And running on rabbit feet
Because we're marching on
Here's to all of us.

tap tap tap

2009-11-11T15:42:00.000-08:00

*taps screen hesitantly*
Hello? Anyone there? Please don't bite....I know I know, I've seemed to disappear completely. But not quite! Ah ha! Yes people, I am back. Tired and feeling rather lost as always.

So Happy Halloween! Err...HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY!
So here's to all the vet's who've served our country proudly and who have endured battle wounds and all. Toast! This of course includes the many friends who I've come to know in the past few years who will always be included, course I know that their out there tonight getting their fix. But all in good times naturally.

(I think I'll do a time jump backwards to add in a Halloween blog at the very least....)

So this is just a mini blog, I apologize for the lack of content, I blame the fact that I really have no time these days for anything, especially now that I work. (That's right, someone was crazy enough to hire me?) So I've gone from Barista Baby to Gamer Girl...and now I'm sitting here amidst math homework and English papers listening the late great Beatles and a wonderful mix Pandora has given me. I forgot how good some of this stuff is, orgasmic even! Though I won't lie, some of these songs are making me a bit sad though, but that's only because the lyrics are great. Okay okay, I'm ranting now, I need to get back to my work though. I shall include some more blogs later though!

Healthcare....reform?

2009-09-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Healthcare reformers and haters,
As many of you have heard, the healthcare reform bill is back on the chopping block, wait, rewind, it never left the block did it? It's in a constant purgatory of Republican vs. Democrat vs. Them vs. Us and "You lie!"s. So what's up with that? Healthcare reform is a must, but where is the transperency? If the current healthcare bill passes, it'll open up a series of loopholes that will trap the average American citizen, loopholes in which, we the people, do not have the capacity to pay for. There needs to be a public option, there needs to be a checks and balance system amongst health insurance and pharmacutical companies, and this needs to be affordable. Joe the Plumber(or Carpenter, or Teacher, or etc.) is crying "Communist" because let's face it, they not only feel that this is an attack on their current lifestyle and their health, they're not able to read this massive "page-turner" of a bill, they can, but who has the time? If any kind of healthcare reform is going to be passes, citizens should be able to understand everything and all that entails. As for those who've done their indepth research, the bill is flawed. I use the term "flawed" lighty. My best bet is that we trash this bill and start fresh if you want any real support.

Here is what needs to be fixed:

1) Government subsidized healthcare should be able to cut the middle man out, meaning cut all the bureaucracies that provide a massive tangled mess of paperwork that often leads to nowhere. Citizens should be able to access their doctors without having to see two or three others before seeing the doctor they need to see due to a heavily tangled mass of paperwork trafficways that make no sense.

2) Citizens should have the option to choose health insurance outside of their jobs. Corporations may offer health insurance, but it is often poorly funded and rarely provides for their employees health. Corporations such as Wal-mart claim to provide adequate health insurance for all their employees, however, employees often get stuck with a medical bill that is beyond their means. The public option should be what it is, a public option.

3) A checks and balance system must be placed upon insurance companies and pharmaceuticals. As of right now, they run rampant with no form of regulations upon them. They wreak havoc and rape the poor mans health and wallet. Medication for the diabetic should not cost hundreds per refill. Nor should AIDs medication, cancer treatments, etc. Insurance for those with a preexisting condition will be guarenteed with the right healthcare bill. Sadly, corporations often have a saying. "The best investment you can ever make is to buy a senator".

In conclusion, please include these thoughts into the healthcare reform bill. I'm speaking to you congressmen!

....

2009-08-30T03:55:00.000-07:00

Why am I still up? Why is this a completely and utterly useless post? How did a conversation talking about miniature golf turn into pap smears and prostate exams? I'm amazed I'm still on the radar lol

Oh yes, Little Tokyo excursion again today....so long sweet summer...

Will post again soon!

To Do List:
-Summer Recap Blog

Thank You For Knowing That Irvine is NOT LA

2009-07-31T02:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to open up this edition of the late night summer edition here other then to say that I went to another amazing concer tthe other night, this time with The Fray and Jack's Mannequin opening up for them. I missed out on Vedera though, I heard they were quite good. Oh yes! I should start from the beginning.

So after a long day's hard work, I rushed to the bathroom of the office to bust out of my constricting heels and put on some sandals, cute jeans, and a good top for a summer night. Vick picked me up, then it was off to the Irvine Amphitheater, we got to stop by a Chipotle for some dinner and I was halfway through my 1,000 calorie dinner when Vick suddenly realizes that she forgot her ticket. DOH!
So her brother had to drive all the way to give her her ticket(how nice of him!). After that cleared up, we met up with a friend of mine and it was off to the concert!

Jack's Mannequin was fantastic! I was so happy to see them on tour again ever since I heard the vocalists' battle with cancer that canceled their tour last year. It was great to see them and I loved the energy. The Fray was really great too, everyone knew their lyrics, good energy just everywhere that night. I loved it!

The Fray

Jack's Mannequin(Sorry I couldn't get them better!)

Thanks for the pictures Vick!

Talk Nerdy to Me

2009-07-28T01:26:00.000-07:00

Spock
Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog
Ted and Marshall
Dawn of War 2
L4D

And yes, if you can talk to me about The Oregon Trail and how you died, I am hooked. I have always had a thing for dorky nice guys, nerds, and goofballs. That's right, boys can woo me with quantum theory(I know this because it worked once). It's funny because my Mom was telling me her "hey-days" once, and she's dated wrestlers, football players, hippies(my parents could have been Lennon and Ono!), a rocker, and whatnot. I have to admit, I am glad that I my Mom is pretty friendly with dating outside the generic Asian block.

What can I say? I want stimulating conversations and a guy who knows how to let me not get my way all the time, being able to make me laugh is also a must!

But oh, when I watched Star Trek, I had the biggest crush on Spock! In the end of the movie, *spoiler* Spock and Uhuru wind up together, in the real series, the original script actually had Spock and Uhuru together. However, Shatner felt that if anyone should get the girl, Kirk should had been the one. So the story changed and Kirk and Uhuru were the first interracial kiss on T.V. EVER. I personally find Spock and Uhuru together to be more compelling. That's just me though :]

Bun Buns!

2009-07-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

Meet Button and Mochi:

So the story of Button and Mochi began in a bird farm (yes, a bird farm, only we could walk into a bird farm and come out with bunnies lol), where in a little corner was a cage full of BUNNIES!

Yes, they were rather cheap and much like impulse buying. I take that back, it was a calling. There was Mochi, the only albino bunny and the smallest one, and when we were about to nab a brown one, a crowd of people surrounded the cage, the bunnies ran to a corner and huddles, Mochi was already there, sound asleep and not caring. And then there was Button, while all the bunnies seemed to cower in fear, he continued to EAT. With his furry little backside to the crowd and only did he notice the crowd did he simply stand on his two widdle legs, stared at us, sniffed around as if to say "What? You never seen a bunny eat?", wiggled his ears, and went back to eating. I was SOLD. Moments later, we had two very small and very CUTE baby bunnies.

It took us forever to name them, I was opposed to any typical animal names and I had a liking to food names, I was convinced that Cheese was a name for them at one point. Some one wanted to name Mochi(All white, albino one) Fluffy, other names were thrown around. I had text messages from friends saying we should name the bunnies Judy, Curious George, George, Fuzzball, Scuttle Butt, and my personal favorites Pirate King, and Terror of the High Seas.

Then the curious one, with his cool painted black ears and stylish pin stripe on his back got a name from "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", and Mochi was Mochi.

This is Mochi and i lack a good picture of Button, but she has awesome black ears.

So yes, they've gotten big enough where only one of them can fit into the basket, and they love shoving eachother out of it, their still very cute. And my siblings are trying to make them do tricks lol.

I want them to do THIS at LEAST!

Ok, the whole rolling over trick is a ways away, but c'mon. We're working on it.

My Showerhead is Posessed Part II

2009-07-23T22:27:00.000-07:00

Do you remember that post about my showerhead being possessed? (Hint hint, there is a Part I)
So I fixed it!
That's right, I fixed my showerhead with tape, lost and lots of masking tape. I've given up on the idea of being able to move the showerhead around as long as it is in position already. Then all of a sudden...

THIS happens:
Which only reminded me when THIS happened:

Which we fixed...despite complications. But it looks like this now:

My bathroom just hates, because out of nowhere, a lovely fungus grew and made THIS:

That's pretty gross I must admit, no worries I just replaced it. STUPID BATHROOM! WHY ARE YOU SOOO MUCH WORK? So now to fix the toilet handle. Grawr!

Hot and Coldplay

2009-07-20T23:10:00.000-07:00

Sticky summer days....*fans with random flat objects* Sexy image much? So yeah...

It has become very clear to me. Chris Martin is quite the hot Dad! I wouldn't care if he named me Apple, but the fact that my "Mum and Da" would be two lovely people by the name of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow would be rather awesome. Why would I rant about hot taken men who are with child and quite happy?
DUN DUN DUUUUN! I saw Coldplay yesterday and they are AMAZING! So who cares if I sat on the lawn seats? I mean, they did run all the way back to our seats to perform up lose and personal anyway! Hearing them do Billie Jean by MJ was pretty damn awesome, my littles sister got within arms reach of the band when they went to the very back. The only thing I wished was that the crowd was a little more energetic, other then that, it's all good! How did I come across tickets? My Mom actually bought the whole family tickets to concert out of a random spur of the moment thing. Pretty nice of her I might admit! So I went with the family and my bestie, Vickie, who came with coffee for me! (So nice of her! :] ) To top it all off, the band gave everyone in the crowd a CD of the night, a memento I suppose. It was pretty damn awesome!

Highlights? Hearing the crowd(me included) sing Viva la Vida and Fix You, the pyrotechnics were very well done, Lovers in Japan anyone? If that wasn't epic, that I don't know what to say to you at all!

Not-so-highlights? Just the seating arrangements, other then that it was all good!

A sold-out concert of 20,000 people singing Viva la Vida. Music really does unite people.

Oh yes! When he came to the back to do Billie Jean.

That's it for now! Met some rather nice people who happened to be sitting right behind us.
There also happened to be special ticket sale that night so we bought tickets for The Fray for $10, and for decent seats too! Jack's Mannquin is opening for The Fray as well, so yay! Two great bands in one night for $10? Can't wait!

Oh and credits to Vickie for the photos, she took a ton of them and I wish I could add some more but my laptop is a lost cause. lol

It's ALIVE! (A under construction REVAMPMENT!)

2009-07-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

Ta Dah! So my last layout was always a bit depressing, but with this one, I felt like it was more me so to speak. I still feel it needs some tweaking. But it's nicer, it's happier, it has paisley, it's cute, and there's a cupcake involved. Did I mention it has paisley? lol

Ok so I didn't make it! I sort of took it off somewhere online. BUT LOOK! There is a credit to the Creator along the bottom! See it? *Points down* See it now?!? I told you guys I was free of guilt!

I am also planning to revamp the content as well. I want happier things! I mean sure, I get my bad days, and yes, I will be sulky at times. Well hell, it's my blog anyway...although, the point is is that I'll be adding more substance and content rather then life pondering stuff. Yes, I will still treat this as my To-Do list at times. I mean, bad enough I have an agenda filled with sticky-notes that have even more To-Do lists squeezed in. At times, I even stick two post-its together if it's particularly chaotic week (a.k.a. Finals/Midterms/"Life threatening" appointments/spring break and summer agendas/and crazy internships). Speaking of which, I want a laptop with that agenda/planner built in...Buddha/God knows I need one of those, and a working laptop in general lol

OH RIGHT! The POINT...So yes, to wrap things up before I figure out a way to rig the lottery, expect better things to come! :]

Late Summer Blogging

2009-07-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

I'm stuck. I know there is another word that means late for the title. Hmmm, it's bugging me and I'm hoping that it has nothing to do with the heat out here. I haven't blogged in quite a while and I am in desperate need of an update. So where to being with summer? Well, this is what I've done thus far that I can remember. Hint being the word "remember".

Not Quite The To Do List Rather then Already Done List for Summer:
Anime Expo
-Went to Anime Expo and was a full time volunteer
-Got food, board, and badge all paid for
-Worked my arse off during the day
-Went through AX with not a single sober night
-Met lots of great people whom I still communicate
-Got hit on quit a bit
-Hit on a few choice Brit boys at various hotel parties
-In a moment of drunken randomness, I decided to attempt to conquer the world at 6am lol
-I still shudder at some of my photos from random nights
-Learned where my limit to alcohol is
-BUT I don't get hangovers and neither do I blow chunks, rather I have an adverse effect in the morning where I simply am nauseated till food is delivered to my body

Internship
-Got an internship
-I get to work with the community and mainly with students throughout the OC
-I put together agendas, curriculum's, the general research, do lots of things from scratch, and I facilitate youth training sessions.
-My first Youth Advocacy Training days is coming by the way!
-I have somehow become "Queen/Leader of the Interns"
-Fellow interns are in a ploy to get me hired
-I love my work! (Though unpaid for....)

Family Vegas Trip
-We are never bringing extra people along
-Had some nice moments with family
-Had a ton of aggravating moments with said extra people
-Upside: We won a trip to Hawaii to make up for it lol

Recent Activity/Random Activity:
-Found out what "Geocaching" is and went on my first treasure hunt last night
-Watched Harry Potter 6 with friend last night as well, but did they HAVE to cut so much out?
-Got my long awaited burrito
-Got over a crush or two
-Still finding job hunting to be difficult in said economy
-Is in need of many things to be added to her life
-Positive note though, I think I'm seeing more clearly in terms of her future
-I hate awesome friends :]
-Went to the beach for a bonfire

Upcoming things:
- Coldplay concert this Sunday
-I get to see favorite cousins next week
- Long awaited Youth Advocacy Training that I've been planning and putting together
-Trip to Seattle with Fam in August

Things to be Done:
-Register for classes next week
-Meet with Financial Aide office next week
-Finish with what's left of planning process in training
-Get my uncle to teach me to drive lol
-And hunt down and call all those places I've turned an application into T-T

Realizations:
-I should continue to surround myself with positive people and laughter
-Don't be afraid to come to friends for help and support
-Take some time out every once in a while to just relax and let go when it gets to be too much
-Stop this self-punishment thing I do, it sucks!

Worries
-Never ending family troubles
-Financial concerns
-Life in general
-And a hapless lovelife plagued by life in general

-Drunken fun with friends
-General fun with friends
-Heart to hearts with people
-Realizing a bigger picture for the future
-Becoming more passionate about a cause

I think it's safe to say that I don't want summer to end. But to be honest, I have so much to worry about and I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place. But I had dream the other night where I didn't realize I had gotten sunburnt and all I wanted to do was to peel that burnt skin off me. You know, like when you start to peel after a sunburn? I think that's a sign for me....to do what? We shall see. The desperate need to peel off that top layer of me that's burnt and hurting? Hmmm....

Well, I THINK that is the gist of my summer thus far! I shall continue to update though!
By the way, I got a semi-professional update to my wardrobe lol I think I'm growing up.

Yay!

2009-05-30T01:36:00.000-07:00

I finished up my semester guys! Wooo...DONE!

Now I really need to get my life back in order. Need to get license, car, and job. And a better life but that's in the long run.

Well here's to summer I suppose. For some odd reason though, I feel a bit...perturbed....to say the least......

FML.....................................

2009-05-19T16:09:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling nauseated today... But that's okay....I only have a little bit more to go.....actually wait...my schedule looks like WHAT!?!?!

Wednesday: Bring in paper to be looked at, Music Final
Thursday: Geography test, Art History paper due
Fri, Sat, Sun, and Mon: Rest up, STUDY STUDY STUDY, and MUST...DO...RESEARCH PAPER
Tuesday: Geography final, Mad dash to English instructor for Research paper, be late to Art History Final
Wednesday: The dreaded Research Paper is due
Thursday: Second half of Art History Final

UGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's time I get my life in gear again. I need a job, my best friend just got a job interview.....

Monday morning and it's the start of a new day

2009-05-18T11:06:00.001-07:00

Woke up this morning and I dragged my lifeless body out of bed today. It took some scrambling about to get to the campus...in which case I made a beeline to the library, staggered up the stairs and found some corner to nap in for an hour. An hour later, I looked up from the cubicle in a confused and befuzzled way, a glance at my cellphone said I had better make a dash to class. Next thing you know, I'm down the stairs and I'm at the coffee cart ordering something different for the first time in a long time. By different, I mean I decided to have the usual that i've been ordering for over a year on the rocks. The caffeine is running through my system, making way to my brain like a shot of morphine. Sitting in class, another deadline is looming over my head as I stare at the instructor trying to make sense of all the due dates and all the tests and all the studying that still needs to be done. I'm looking at my coffee thinking, "Welcome to the big world Christina, and thank God/Buddha for my daily dose of caffeine". Suddenly I'm out and my head is full of plans to rearrange life and studying time and the stress seeps in. But that's okay because I got the California sun shining down on me and I know I'll find my way around all of this. Go team!

To Do List Midweek Update

2009-05-13T15:02:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, a bit of a midweek update is needed. So here it is:

TO DO LIST:
~~-Finish Works Cited and go over reasonable sources(look through the library)~~
~~-Turn in Works Cited to English 100 due Monday~~
~~-Ask English instructor to look over the breakdown of my paper and subject content~~
~~-Go over/edit Movie Review #2 due Monday~~
~~-Turn in Movie Review #2 for Music History and Appreciation~~
Do Art History Project for Versailles and the White House
-This entails type up research, set up aesthetically pleasing charts, provide works cited, make sure nothing looks plagiarized and lots of gluing and printing
-GET NOTES NEEDED for Geography! (SUCK IT UP AND ASK ANYONE FOR THEM!!!!)
-Need NEED NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED those notes!
-Turn in Art History Project due Tuesday
-Do Concert Review #2 due Wednesday
-Read Chapters 15, 16, 18, and 19 in Geography and take notes
-Memorize Geography terms needed
-Hit the ground running on the English 100 Research paper
-Go over a comprehensive review for the Geography final, Chapters 1-19 over the internal and external processes that shape the natural environment
-Find lots of Monsters to substitute for sleep!
-Find some time to workout! XP

CLEANED UP VERSION:
-Study and catch-up on Geography, read chapters and collect notes
-Do a works cited for Versailles/White House project due tomorrow
-Study for Music final that is coming up (comprehensive review)
-English research paper/project, collect data and compile thorough notes that can be organized into a layout form
-Go over artwork for the Art History final
-Work out
-Clean my room
-Send in another resume and continue filling out applications

To Do List NOW!

2009-05-11T01:16:00.000-07:00

Ok guys, you know I'm cracking down and getting some n I bust out a new To Do List, so here goes startiing with things to do for Monday and due dates for Tuesday and etc.

TO DO LIST:
-Finish Works Cited and go over reasonable sources(look through the library)
-Turn in Works Cited to English 100 due Monday
-Ask English instructor to look over the breakdown of my paper and subject content
-Go over/edit Movie Review #2 due Monday
-Turn in Movie Review #2 for Music History and Appreciation
-Do Art History Project for Versailles and the White House
-This entails type up research, set up aesthetically pleasing charts, provide works cited, make sure nothing looks plagiarized and lots of gluing and printing
-GET NOTES NEEDED for Geography! (SUCK IT UP AND ASK ANYONE FOR THEM!!!!)
-Need NEED NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED those notes!
-Turn in Art History Project due Tuesday
-Do Concert Review #2 due Wednesday
-Read Chapters 15, 16, 18, and 19 in Geography and take notes
-Memorize Geography terms needed
-Hit the ground running on the English 100 Research paper
-Go over a comprehensive review for the Geography final, Chapters 1-19 over the internal and external processes that shape the natural environment
-Find lots of Monsters to substitute for sleep!
-Find some time to workout! XP

My showerhead is possessed

2009-05-06T15:18:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have reason to believe that my showerhead is possessed. It has somehow managed to fallen off and hit me right on the head at the most perfect timing! And in the one place on my head where it hurts the most! My head had a lump for the next few days and whenever I looked at my shower, my head started to ache as if it remembering the last incident!
I was rushing this morning and THWAP! OWWW! Freakin' A that HURT! My showerhead isn't impressively heavy or anything but gravity and inertia of the falling object makes it heavier. So now walking about with a new lump on my head, the lump'll go away I'm sure...right? Right?

5dayforcastcrazyfantasticrandomwhoooooosh!

2009-05-05T16:49:00.000-07:00

Whoa, five days since my last post and in those 5 days, I had to take my Mom to the hospital, had SUPER supportive friends pick me up at 3am, had a good time reveling about at the beach with said friends, had some more weird dreams, ran back and fourth to LA, wrote 3 papers back to back, passed a test, found out I'm passing my English class(yeah seriously right? Me have trouble in English? Doesn't happen very often but this one guy...) and discovered that Walmart sells American Apparel like gear for a very small fraction of the cost. I still hate you guys, but not so much....

AND my family is still here, but not so much, it's like, there in the back of my head kind of deal. Oh! And my favorite cafe was about to go into smokes due to the apocalyptic battle going on in the backrooms while women(more like one really), sounded...ummm... scorned to say that least. Lots of screaming in Korean and just plain screaming.

That's my update! For now..and exhale!

Goodnight Moon

2009-05-01T01:35:00.001-07:00

Crazy weird dreams again, yawn, what a nap though. I think I'm going to pass out now though. I'm worried about classes again....

FAM BAM!

2009-04-24T01:34:00.000-07:00

My family feels whole :]

Everyone is in a good mood and the many things I have been dreading seem to be going away and I find it rather nice. Though it's still in the back of my head and it'll always be there until something changes, but for now, I'd rather put insecurities aside and just FOCUS on what needs to be focused on. Mainly school naturally. Like I said, I'm just banning myself from the involvement of guys for the time being and for good reason. I have other things to worry about after all, and there's still quite a bit more to go with my family! Well, it's late and I gotta get to sleep. Good night ya'll!

Cafe hopping and then some

2009-04-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

At the moment I'm enjoying myself at Yun Patisserie, my favorite cafe with my favorite barista and just a good place that isn't played out like Starbucks is. I've worked there, I should know. I have to admit, I love it when I find a good cafe who understands the true art of espresso and coffee. Vickie pointed out that the cafe has a blog, suprisingly enough, it's on a Blogger! Yay! So check it out guys! :]

http://yunpatisserie.blogspot.com/

The barista here is by far the best. Go check it out you guys!

Bad Guy Blues...

2009-04-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

I hate playing the bad guy, really, I do. This post goes to the Spring Break section.
So here's the being an adult, because the universe runs on irony.

AHHHH!!!!

2009-03-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

To Do List to Attempt Over Spring Break That Needs to be Done Yet the Due Date Gives Me Justice to Procrastinate:

English

Outline the next paper
Start working on research project
This includes choosing a topic, proper research, list of sources, outlining paper

Music

Read chapters
Study for midterm that is on the day I come back from break
Write movie review paper
Must go to a philiharmonic concert and write review
Make plans and set dates, research different orchestras

Geography

Read Chapters 5,6, and 7
Take notes
Study for test that will be on the week I come back

Art History

Get started on research paper on contrast and comparison on Versailles vs. The White House
Begin listing different themes/categories for paper

Econ

Read Chapters 3,4, and 12?
Take notes
Do some serious studying
Test when I get back from break

HOME

Finish cleaning room
Vacuum the house
Finish Alex's room
Blinds need cleaning
Inspection on Monday
Bleach those towels
Get home ready for Grandma
....................

Etcetera

Finish learning how to drive
Get liscense
Research jobs
Figure out that bank statement
Look productive
Get more sleep
Hit the gym more
Hit up a club....
Crap

Things Due or Important Things to Remember the Week I Come Back from Spring Break:

Monday: English paper, Music Midterm
Tuesday: Geography test
Wednesday: Movie Review for Music class due
Thursday: Econ Test, schedule appointment with EOPS counselor